I know that I've been going crazy with the videos lately. I like funny videos but they are a lazy way to make sure that something gets posted & retain my readership. That said, even though some of you have already seen this I thinks it's pretty funny. Not in the same class as the shrimp running on the treadmill, but funny (it's a little hard to tell but the guy played Biff in the Back to the Future movies).

I can't wait for the Kitchen of the Future




Think of this as a little ethnographic context for Valley of the Dolls. I would be hopped on every pill I could get if I had serve those jackasses too.

Drunk Kitty (sedated after visit to the vet)

DATELINE: Spokane, WA

I'm back on the road and will be in Eastern Washington for the next two weeks. Holy smokes my trip was long. Left the house at 5:45am est, flew 4 and 1/2 hours to Phoenix

and then switched planes and had a second, 3 hour flight taking me to Spokane. I arrived at my hotel in Spokane at around 5pm est. Lame. I didn't know very much about Spokane except for old prejudices against Eastern Washington (flat, dry, boring, lots o' hicks) but after driving around a little today I think it'll be fairly interesting. The town reminds me a little of the suburb of Seattle where I mostly grew up in that there were a lot of businesses and signs from the 1960's and '70's. In that suburb those things have pretty much all been replaced by new, fancy places in the last 10 years, but not in Spokane. There'll be some fun things to take pictures of, like the White Elephant Surplus Store and Toyland. It's so convenient to be able to buy all my model trains, guns, and close-out toys in one place.
I even have a view of a river out my window. The view is somewhat reminiscent of the Susquehana in Bingo, but it's better than a parking lot.

As ugly as it may sound I have to brag a little on my business traveling know-how. I always review seatguru.com to get a little edge when I check in. The website lists the configuration every airplane for almost every airline and let's you know where the best seats are (most legroom, power outlet, etc). Using my savvy business traveler insight I was able to get the most awesome seat on the flight from Phoenix - Spokane. The plane has two exit rows on each side, but unlike many planes the first row only has an aisle and a middle seat (no window). The second row has all three and I was able to snag the window, meaning that not only did I have an extra wide seat I got to stretch my legs out with no seat in front of me. I basked in the jealous stares for each and every of the 180 minutes in the air.

I have no idea why but a whole bunch of people from across the globe have stopped by Businessn'at today. Here's the list: US, UK, France, Belgium, Malaysia, Chile, Taiwan, and Canada.

Title: Still life with neighbor's cat or

Alienation and Pink Chenille

The other day I had to drive out to Beaver Falls, PA, a small town about 45 min from Pittsburgh (for work). I had hoped to find some fun things to take picture of but there really was nothing interesting about the town other than Carol Duda's Beauty Shop & Target Ammunition Supplies. After the interview I drove around Beaver Falls looking for something photogenic, got lost, asked & received directions from a very friendly volunteer fireman, and then drove back to Pittsburgh.

This porno store has never been open since I've been town and now it's being turned into something else in the name of revitalizing the downtown. There's a bigger and equally colorful sign for this same porno shop further down the street but you can't really get a good picture of it because of various poles and wires.

BREAKING NEWS: Kitten grows into big, fat cat!

batlovin'

BREAKING NEWS: Poetry might not totally suck.

Last night was "Art Show and Portfolio Night" at Schecky's school.

It's a chance for the kids to show off the art projects they've been working on all year, as well as an opportunity for the parents to see how the kids' academic work has progressed since the beginning of the year.

Scheck's teacher had each child write a "Spring Time Poem" for the event.

There were many, many, many shiny happy poems about bunnies, and flowers, and sunshine.

And then there was Schecky's*...

Sneak Peek at the trailer for the new Batman movie

While they may be great at the yo-yo and eating hot dogs, our friends across the Pacific apparently do not spend a lot of time at petting zoos:

Thousands of people have been 'fleeced' into buying neatly coiffured lambs they thought were poodles.

Entire flocks of lambs were shipped over from the UK and Australia to Japan by an internet company and marketed as the latest 'must have' accessory.

But the scam was only spotted after a leading Japanese actress said her 'poodle' didn't bark and refused to eat dog food.

Attention all you single ladies - I've heard through the grapevine that unknowingly dating gay men has become a near epidemic. In the interests of your future hetero-happiness I have discovered a list of clues that you can use next time you're thinking about getting serious with that funny and stylish young man you've been dating. I know what some of you are thinking, but since I moved away from Ithaca I display far fewer of these suspicious qualities.

• If sexual activity steeply declines within the first few years of marriage.
• You're always more sexually aggressive than your husband.
• If your husband is turned off by the thought of touching your vaginal area or performing oral sex on you.
• If his best friend is gay.
• If he hangs out in gay bars.
• If he enjoys watching gay porn movies and surfing gay porn Web sites.
• If he is excessively homophobic, mocking and imitating other gay men.
• If he brags about gay men complimenting him on his looks.

That's President Deuchebag to you

The Man is fully confident in his awesomeness to freely admit that he is blogging at a Starbucks right now.

Is there anything they can't do?

First Hot Dog eating contests, now the yo-yo...is anyone safe?

They sleep 18 hours a day and party 24.

BREAKING NEWS: New cat in neighborhood mercilessly taunts Droolsy.

Just in case you are interested in what accoutrements go along with my high powered executive lifestyle, the pictures below are from The Man's actual workspace yesterday where most of the 10 interviews took place. And yes, that's the coffee that smelled like deli slices.

The man has had a very busy day. 10 interviews and then data entry for all of them. I'm going to sleep but will have to catch up tomorrow, which won't extra extra horrible because I'll only have to input 4 left over from today and 4 from tomorrow. Awesome!

Let me tell you, it was so great being back in academia today. My current client is a small private university and I was on campus all day today talking with deans and faculty members. The faculty members were especially enlightening - "That's very interesting Dr. [name], I had no idea how important [insert their academic department] is to the university and how vital funding for [insert their meaningless research] is to the future of the school." I don't know what I enjoyed the most, hearing about life-or-death battles for space in the academic buildings or the heartbreaking tale of one faculty member believes that being he does not have to give to the capital campaign because he is already doing his part in the fundraising battle by being a good teacher and making students feel warm thoughts about the university, which will eventually develop into the nostalgic feelings that motivate graduates to become donors to the university. You know, it probably was the guy who just happened to mention that he was at UNC-Chapel Hill before taking his current position - I was so impressed that I totally forgot that he was teaching a 4-4 course load at the rinky-dink school he's at right now.

H.M.S. Pimpawhore

hey all, I'm in an office waiting for my next appointment. have coffee pot from their office. coffee smells like turkey slices from the deli. both offputting and attractive at same time. will write more later.

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

I thought it would be worth at least enough to get a six-pack.

I wish my dad would open up to me.

I want to give a shout out to my new homeboy or girl in South Jordan, Utah.

DATELINE: The 'Burgh

I've been busy tonight, entering in the info from the last few days of interviews while going through some episodes of Dexter. It's not as high quality as Six Feet Under but it is interesting. I do like the fella who plays Dexter (he also played the gay brother on Six Feet Under). He's hella creepy. After the last episode ended a few minutes ago I flipped to CNN to see the end of a report about the Virginia Tech killer's family in S. Korea. The ever intrepid (and dreamy) Anderson Cooper tracked down that crazy dude's great aunt and she dished some family dirt. While sitting in her apartment, the 85 year old woman talked about how everybody knew the killer was nuts even when he was a little kid in S. Korea, before his family moved to the US. She said that she knew the kid had problems because he never talked to anyone, and said that whenever she talked to his parents after they moved to the states they were worried about him. My favorite quote was "I knew he had problems but I never thought he would cause a problem...the idiot". Harsh words indeed.

Anyhooters, I've been bumping around town doing my thang, interviewing big shots and taking no prisoners. It's been nice being in town and having the opportunity to run around downtown. The pictures below are from my Pittsburgh travels.














These pictures are the swanky views from a few of the offices I visited.

Say what you want about his policies, but he's made himself into a very capable public speaker.

He's actually pretty clear and concise in this speech.

Baby Rut!

Goddamn dirty apes!

Apache My Bitch Up

Corky's dryfire

I did not know Corky was down with Public Enemy.

Hi all,

I'll have some actual posts later on tonight. The Man is back in business and running around Pittsburgh doing his magic. I've been booked up with interviews all week but I'll make time to give y'all a little sumthin-sumthin tonight. In the meanwhile enjoy the stupid videos.

She's critiquing the meta narrative that structures how we make meaning of the web of signs & signifiers which inform our habitus through a parody of contemporary celebrity obsessions.

Stupid Britney
Uploaded by IDLYITWdotcom

Bobby Trendy on Anna Nicole:

"Thank Anna for making me famous. When you think of Anna, think of red, white and pink hearts. She was love as she taught love. She was the breadwinner and supported four people by baring her breasts and genitals for men and women. She was an entertainer who will be missed."

Boy, it's been a crazy week. We learned that cats are trickier than we ever imagined, bees are not excited about the iPhone, Don Imus, hero?, danger only makes the sausage tastier, some Muslims in Malaysia are hatin' on Genies, Vampires, Mermaids, Phoenix Birds, Ghouls, and Supernatural Beings, but in Cairo you get hooked up with obedient Genie wives. Go figure.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Lebowski

urbandictionary.com: Definition's for Binghamton, NY

1. Imagine Hell, then make it cold

2. The place that will make you glad to be anywhere but there for the rest of your natural life. 3. A city in Upstate New York whose only reason for existence is the State University situated there. This sad fact is not widely recognized by residents and causes a great deal of animosity toward the students whose money keeps the shit-hole from becoming a ghost town. 4. The Forsaken Lands. I may have a debilitating brain disease, but at least I don't live in Binghamton. 5. An industrial wasteland where parents send their spolied Long Island Kids to get a NYU comparable education, but the kids are too fucking bratty to accept anything other than going to Boston University and having their balls powdered while their new BMW's get a new pair of rims. Oh, and the cloudy weather makes everyone insane. Smoke weed everyday. Which way to Pepe's nigga?

6. Cold, dark and depressing is a sheer understatement (you will definitely be on anti-depressants by second semester of your freshman year). You think going out will help...haha no, if you make it to the bars alive after riding in a cab with a driver who is either drunk or high off something, downtown basically consists of lame bars that are so crowded that you are sweating even in your hoochie tank top, denim skirt and flip flops when it is smack in the middle of winter with a snow storm going on outside. Everyone has a New Jersey i.d. that their next door neighbor on their floor made for them off of their brand new dell laptop. Yea, mine as well stay home and oh wait not drink or smoke, because your R.A. may call the police on you. Sorority girls are all disgusting, mostly because they are from long island and think that even if they weigh 40 lbs overweight its alright to wear solos. The frat guys are disgusting, with one good looking one in all of greek life. They think they are awesome because they all wear the same pink polo downtown. Then there are the stoners, all living in CIW, who are kool yet really annoying because they dont realize that if you are white and from long island its not okay to have dreads or pretend that you even comprehend the lyrics of a bob marley song. Ok so the other half of the school, not being jewish, is obviously asian, wearing hollister like its their job. What is with their timberlands that they wear on the one day in binghamton when it is 80 degrees. As for professors, don't plan on passing classes without devoting your life to the library, they havent yet realized that we all come here bc we weren't good enough to get into cornell, despite the fact that everyone wears cornell sweatshirts here. We don't have a football team and no one goes to games. Why bother coming here, I'll tell you why, because you are some rich white kid from long island who couldn't get in anywhere else and your parents dont feel like paying for your bmw (which you cant move bc its always snowing) and all of your jeans that have pre-ripped holes plus a good college education!! Refer to Long Island but at -50 degrees 7. An absolute shithole surrounded by trailer parks (lots of them) and white-trash. Poverty. Ignorance. Beer-bellies and camoflauge. Women are overweight and just plain nasty. People from NJ are assholes? I've never encountered such a rude bunch in my life, and I've lived in 4 states, NJ included. People are just miserable. Advance Auto Parts is a zoo, full of broke-ass, rusting off the frame, 20 year old Chevy pickup trucks with their hoods up fixing their pieces in the parking lot so they can get on with their pathetic lives. Area is full of side-of-the-road redneck car dealerships run by a bunch of crooks. I've never seen so many people without teeth, or the ones they have left are rotting. Everyone smokes. Extreme uneducation. This includes the surrounding areas as well. Broome County is one of the poorest counties in the nation, #30 to be exact. A lot of petty crimes and drunks. NOT an area you move to to get ahead in life!!! Just look in the local classifieds...if you do find a job it's most likely blue-collar, no education required at an unliveable pay-scale. The pay here is ridiculously low. Real estate is worth NOTHING. If you want to cling to the lower rungs of society, move to the Southern Tier!!! Binghamton is an absolute shithole surrounded by trailer parks (lots of them) and white-trash. Poverty. Ignorance. Beer-bellies and camoflauge. Women are overweight and just plain nasty. 8. This place sucks unless you start smoking weed early in life (6th Grade) then you pretty much get shit-faced on the weekends return to school and do it again all over. Typical Weekend Call your friend, smoke weed,find one of the many lame ass house parties, smoke some more go to downtown binghamton scam on SUNYtoons, find some more parties. drive around east bumfuck smoking more weed. go home. repeat from next weekend until you graduate.

9.

Once booming model industrial city in the 1950's and 60's which, like many cities in New York State not supported by the capital generated by NYC, has seen a mass exodus of businesses and large-scale population loss.

Where people from NYC and Long Island send their children to attend college if they didn't get into the Ivy League University of their choice. Many of these individuals will then spend the entirety of their next four years either on campus, on the Vestal Parkway, or on State Street, from which they will draw vastly overgeneralized conclusions and constantly gripe about how shitty Binghamton is, as they walk around with a false sense of entitlement.

Where people from Deposit, Windsor, Kirkwood, etc go when they want to experience "The Big City", which entails dad getting gussied up in his "dress camo" and Dale Sr. hat and taking the family out to a fancy dinner at Ruby Tuesdays. This is one of the two sub-groups of people from which the ego-maniacal L.I. SUNY student will draw his opinion of Binghamton writ large. See also: Walmart.

Binghamton is also inhabited by the townie, who has been bred, since birth, to bitch about being stuck in Binghamton (while making no attempt to leave), despise the unwarranted elitism of the SUNY student, and abuse drugs and alcohol. The average townie can outdrink most people, and probably has "a guy" if you need to cop some blow.

Growing up Gotti wanna-be's with blowouts and unbuttoned dress shirts with no undershirt, State Street sluters wearing tube tops and mini-skirts in the middle of January, cokeheads, overt racists, J.A.P.S., faggot frat boys, unfulfilled potential, boarded-up store fronts.

"Yo, you's pretty fly..... is you from NYC?"

"Bitch, I should smack youuuuuu. I'm from BINGHAMTON, BINGHAMTON, BINGHAMTON!!!"

10.

A place where all the super-elite fuckbags from NYC (who live with their heads up their collective asses because "It's NYC dooood!, it doesn't sleep!") send their disinfranchised children with their brand spanking new cars to school because they spent the better part of their high school career neck deep in bong water. Since their too fucking ignorant or poor to get into NYU...Rich mommy and daddy send them upstate to a state school where they can bitch and moan about such mundane things as the weather while pulling out another 50 bucks off mommy's credit card to buy pot and cocaine for another evening of "Who can kill themselves quicker" We don't like you either fuckers. If this pissed you off, then fuck you.

11.

Possibly the most pathetic town I've ever been to. People often say upstate New York is more like the Midwest than New York City; that statement is downright insulting to the Midwest. Binghamton is an absolute shithole. It's not even nearly as nice and all-American as the Midwest, and no where near as cool and exciting as New York City. Locals are a bunch of fat Southern-wannabe Walmart-shopping rednecks with Confederate flags on their pickups. Binghamton Chamber of Commerce actually BRAGS that Binghamton was once the New York State Ku Klux Klan headquarters. My God. There's fucking one famous person to ever come out of Binghamton, Rod Serling, and they act like Serling is Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior. BIG FUCKING DEAL! You know how many famous people came from New York City area! Like 75% of all celebrities!!! Binghamton is extremely one-dimension geographically. The whole city is Main St, and little side streets off Main St. In neighboring Vestal, everything is on the Vestal Parkway. That's it. By the way the food in Binghamton sucks. Upstate people really have no clue when it comes to food (except for wings though, that is ONE contribution Upstate NY made to society). It's also colder than southern Alaska in the winter. Whoopey. If Spiedies are so fucking great why has no one ever heard of them? If they were actually good, why no national recognition?

Watcher's Council Garage Sale

In case anybody hasn't bought a birthday present for me yet:

Auction hounds are snapping up "vampire killing kits" and "vampire hunting kits" manufactured by a nineteenth century quack named Ernst Blomberg. The kits, which have been found in Australia and sold by at least two auction houses (including Southebys, reportedly for $12,000), include silver bullets, a wooden stake, holy water, and other important vampire-destroying items. Back in 2003, Gunbroker.com auctioned off one of the kits, and posted a transcription of the instructions that came with the original box:


Vampire Killing Kit

The accoutrements for the destruction of the Vampire

This box contains the items considered necessary for the protection of persons who travel into certain little known countries in Easter Europe where the populace are plagued with a peculiar manifestation of evil, known as Vampires... Professor Ernst Blomberg respectfully requests that the purchaser of this kit carefully studies his book. Should evil manifestations become apparent, he is then equiped to deal with them efficiently... Professor Blomberg wishes to announce his grateful thanks to that well known gunmaker of Liege, Nicholas Plombeur, whose help in compiling of the special items, the silver bullets,etc., has been most efficient. The items enclosed are as follows...

1. An efficient pistol with its usual accoutrements
2. A quantity of bullets of the finest silver
3. Powdered flowers of garlic (one phial)
4. Flour of Brimstone (one phial)
5. Wooden stake (Oak)
6. Ivory crucifix
7. Holy Water (one phial)
8. Professer Blomberg's New Serum

Signs in Austin

LOST

I told you Juliet was totally evil!!!! Never, never trust one of those people.

LOST

Tonight's LOST is half-way through and I have a few thoughts:

- Said should have knocked out Jack, chained up Juliet & left her for the polar bears. I don't trust that crazy bitch. Let Jack get eaten up too...I'm sick of his goody goody, mr. earnest, always trying to the right thing crap.

- It makes no sense at all why people would let Jack bring Juliet to the camp. She's evil!!!! She's an Other!!!! Jesus H. Christ, just kill her!!!

- This show is so crappy...let Juliet be the only one who can save the mysteriously dying aussie gal so she can gain the trust of everyone at the camp? Could there be a lamer little scenario to move people's relationship's and the story along?


-

2007 Employment Trends

Old and busted: Legitimate employment.
New Hotness: Fraud!

The picture is from a local newspaper story on the strike by Adale's dad's union against the company that own's the mine he works at. He's in camo leaning against the (his) truck.

EASTER TREES?

Ever find out something that made you feel like everyone had been in on it except you, like Rowdy Roddy Piper in They Live!? Over the course of the last few days I've realized that I've been living in the midst of something that I never knew existed - the cult of the Easter Tree. Have y'all ever seen one? Last Easter was my first one here in the 'Burgh and I discovered what I then thought was a quirky local tradition, the Easter Tree. People string plastic easter eggs together and hang them, along with inflatable easter bunnies, on trees & shrubs in their from yards. I figured they were just another wacky thing the locals did and, after not getting around to taking any pictures of them, they were quickly forgotten.

When this Easter rolled around Adale reminded me that I wanted to take pictures of Easter Trees & we found some really exciting ones. Wondering what the hell was up with these I used The Google and found out that people make these things in various locations throughout our great land. I also asked a few people about them, people who had lived outside of Pittsburgh, and they were surprised that I had never made one. Even though I know that I've only lived in certain kinds of neighborhoods in a limited number of cities, I was really surprised that I had never even heard of Easter Trees let alone seen one before moving to SWPA. Maybe people I know made Easter Trees and I never saw them for some reason. Maybe I'm a ghost like Bruce Willis in that movie with the creepy kid who can only whisper.

Computers are the wave of the future

We Come in Peeps!

Click here to get download a zip-file of an Aeropajitas cd.

DATELINE: Austin, TX

While in Austin I dragged Adale around my old neighborhood. One highlight was going to La Mexicana Bakery on S. 1st.

They've got all the typical pretty but tasteless cookies that Mexican bakeries have, all sorts of cartoon-inspired birthday cakes, as well as new additions of breakfast & lunch tacos, a booth selling car insurance and wiring money to Latin America, and a small number of imported grocery items.

The most important part of any trip to La Mexicana is the pinkcake. I just asked Adale to describe it and she looked puzzled, saying it's just sheet cake with pink icing...nothing special. She's wrong. It's totally awesome.

The bakery is only a few blocks from where I used to live and I loved to stop by for some pinkcake on my way home from running errands . The cake is really soft, exceedingly sweet, and moist on the bottom.

Just look how happy I am. Pinkcake is the best!