FLASHBACK: Rapid City, SD

Driving out to Mt. Rushmore I stopped at the lovely and majestic Presidents Park, a series of three giant busts of Reagan, Kennedy, and W in a vacant lot next to a gas station. It totally worked as a roadside attraction because I had my choice of 3 or 4 mini-marts and made my choice based on the presence of the statues. Take note that Bush's tie has little elephants on it...I think he does wear Republican stuff like that all the time. I've also noticed that when he's in casual wear he sports federal gov't gear - FBI windbreakers, NAVY pullovers, etc. - that looks like he got it for free with a subscription to ESPN the magazine

UPDATE: After using the Googles I found out that the three statues I saw are an advertisement for President's Park, named by USA Today as one of the Top 10 Places to See in the USA and one of Life Magazone's 21 Hidden Treasures of the USA.

DATELINE: Pittsburgh, PA

I'm laying around on the couch, suffering from a head cold. DayQuil did a fair job over the last two days but not this morning. I'm going to go to the doctor tomorrow because I've developed a cough.

For Joe.

DATELINE: Ithaca, NY

One of the most exciting things about our stay in Ithaca was that the house we rented had the oldest toilet in Tompkins County, NY. It was originally in the Clinton House across from the Commons. It's from sometime in the 19th century. And Adale & I blew it up with authority.


DATELINE: Ithaca, NY

DATELINE: Hub's Place, Ithaca, NY

Of course no trip to Ithaca is complete without a visit to Hub's Place. Hub said someone is building 200+ fancy condos behind his place and he's worried that they'll complain about his garden of rusty junk. We found some goodies - glass casters, vintage crystal wall lamp, rusty metal rake, and a series of professional comedian joke books from 1949.

BREAKING NEWS: If you're near a TV turn it to IFC right now because R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13 - 22 is on right now!!!!!

HOW TO TELL YOU ARE IN SOMEONE'S HOUSE IN ITHACA, NY

Let's say you're walking down the street, get hit on the head with a blackjack & the next thing you know you're in the trunk of a car going down the highway. Hours, maybe days later the car stops and you're dragged out of the trunk into a building. The blindfold over your eyes is finally removed and after your eyes adjust to the light & the chloroform fog wears off you realize that you're tied to a chair in someone's apartment. You've got to look for clues to figure out what's happening & where you are...the car ride was a haze & you have no idea how long you were in there so you really could be anywhere in the US.

Well, I've come up with a guide that will help you if you're kidnapped & taken to Ithaca, NY. The photos below provide key visual clues that, if you're observant enough to recognize, will let you know that you've been taken to Ithaca, probably to be enslaved by the hippy cult running the Mate Factor, destined to weave friendship bracelets & handcraft mate mugs in their dungeon for the rest of your days.


When your captors give you your daily sip of water laced with sodium pentathol & rohypnol, be sure to run your lips over the rim of the cup. Is it a beautiful, hand thrown earthenware coffee mug? If not blindfolded, look around - do you see any evidence of hand made pottery?

You must be ever vigilant and take note of every little thing going on, no matter how insignificant it seems at the time. For example, does it seem like your captors schedule out daily "fun family" activities? Do these activities include an inordinate amount of "nature walks" and similar outdoor activities? Is TV time scheduled, and then reserved for educational videos for which the children have no say?


Ferns? check. Tapestry? check. CD case full of Sim Redmond and Dave Matthews? check. Kids art hanging from light and on desk? check. Stained glass? check.

If you are not blindfolded look around to catch a glimpse of the condiments used by your captors. The jars may have a familiar shape but the labels reveal their sinister contents.

Even the smallest piece of Grateful Dead memorabilia is strong evidence that your captors did not stop in Danby and took you straight to Ithaca.

Look at this picture & think about what you're looking at. Imagine you are tied up in this room. What do you hear? The most important piece of evidence here is the TV - it's covered up with an attractive cloth hand woven by Latin American artisans. Hippies use magic textiles to block radiation from their tv sets.


Double-check the gruel your captors serve you. Tofu? TVP? Tahini? Is your cookie sweetened with honey? Even though hippies traffic in White Slavery they are concerned about the effects of factory farming on our diets as well as the environment.

FLASHBACK: Badlands, SD

I don't know why I never posted these before because they're pretty good. As y'all may or may not remember, while in Rapid City, SD I spent a day driving through the Badlands and visiting Wall Drug. At the end of the loop, just a few miles before hitting the interstate to get back to my hotel, I spotted this sign and realized that I had to stop. Free Prairie Dogs watching? Hell yeah!!

This gift shop was really in the middle of nowhere. I was super excited to find that in addition to a free prairie dog viewing area the gift shop had a 20 foot cement prairie dog statue in the parking lot.


This is the other side of the gift shop.



The statue is heroic and noble, yet at the same time I sense tragedy.

The shop owners had an approximately 40 ft. x 40 ft. fenced in area where most of the prairie dogs congregated, although because they dig tunnels and are wild animals the fence didn't keep them in. I think so many hung out there because the fence gave them a nice, defined living area, kind of like screens in a loft.


They are pretty damn cute. I bet they would make good pets if you could catch a baby & raise it.

The lonely prairie dog gazing across the plains. What is he waiting for? what does he see?

hey y'all, I'm in the Dallas Airport (DFW for all you business travellers). There have been a lot of things up in the air for me but now I can reveal:
1) After a tough meeting at company HQ I am officially NOT fired.
2) TGI Friday's bacon cheeseburgers are pretty darn tasty.
3) Shiner Bock tastes pretty darn good in the TGIF big glasses.
4) There's a guy working at the DFW TGIF who knows all the cities/towns/communities located around the top 60 metro areas in the USA. He also has visited 35 of the 50 states and has the goal of visiting every one.
6) I did not have the heart to question whether driving through a state for 1.5 hours on the interstate counts as having "visited" said state. Personally, I don't think so.

I heart the Hipster Olympics!

DATELINE: Erie, PA has the greatest store ever!

First 5 People I saw in Ithaca Whom I Recognized

1. Joey from gay bowling walking his dog. He lived right around the corner from our apartment.

2. MC Carpet, waiting for the bus off of the commons. Still wearing the same Dr. Seuss hat (I mean the exact same, because it's really grimy).

3. Aaron Spiser, on the commons. It felt good to be back in Ithaca for 1/2 hour and hear someone shouting your name.

4. The crappy waiter dude from Viva. He's got strawberry blonde hair & goatee. Used to have long hair but is still chubby.

5. Bob from Gimme. He was sitting at the Gimme by our old place. I walked by and did a double-take, and he did the same.

DATELINE: Ithaca, NY

I'll write more later, but wanted to let y'all know that we're having a great time so far. We saw Buddy today and he's exactly the same - A>W>E>S>OM>E>! We also bumped into Whoopi Goldberg at the Bookery. Adios!

Evil Gossip of the Day

From Barnett Rubin, NYU Prof., member Council on Foreign Relations;

Today I received a message from a friend who has excellent connections in Washington and whose information has often been prescient. According to this report, as in 2002, the rollout will start after Labor Day, with a big kickoff on September 11. My friend had spoken to someone in one of the leading neo-conservative institutions. He summarized what he was told this way

They [the source's institution] have "instructions" (yes, that was the word used) from the Office of the Vice-President to roll out a campaign for war with Iran in the week after Labor Day; it will be coordinated with the American Enterprise Institute, the Wall Street Journal, the Weekly Standard, Commentary, Fox, and the usual suspects. It will be heavy sustained assault on the airwaves, designed to knock public sentiment into a position from which a war can be maintained. Evidently they don't think they'll ever get majority support for this--they want something like 35-40 percent support, which in their book is "plenty."

Can I have an extra credit assignment, Professor?

DATELINE: Coal Center, PA

Adale & I went out to her parent's house yesterday to get out of town and away from our lives for a little while. For comic relief, Adale's dad (Spike) had me help him out putting the finishing touches on his shed. one of his favorite games is to get me to try to do something handy so he can laugh and tell me how useless I am at these kinds of things, all in a good natured way. I'm always eager to lend a little comic relief to these family outings.

Notice my excellent hammering skills.

Hammering on a ladder = 2X bonus degree of difficulty.

Coming to TLC this fall: Pimp My Shack!

After fixing up the shed I hopped on the riding mower and proceeded to take care of business with the lawn.

Attention to detail is key - note my laser focus on getting the job done.

Unfortunately, Spike did not appreciate my mower lines & kicked me off.


Spike showing me that he's still got game.

The day ended with a celebratory BBQ*. Very very tasty


* This picture is from a BBQ last week, but yesterday's BBQ was almost an exact replica.

REWARDS POINTS UPDATE

It’s been a little while since I’ve let y’all know where I stood with my rewards points programs so I thought now that I have a little time to catch my breath I would fill everybody in. There’s good news and bad news, and I’ll start with the good news.

National Rental Car Emerald Club

I’ve made it to the Executive Club! You need to have at least 40 rental days for the year to make Executive and wit my Vegas trip I have 46. When you’re a member of the Emerald Club (National’s Rewards Points club) you typically just walk out to the lot, select a car from the aisle and roll. You show your ID and the paperwork in the car at a booth & then you’re free. The exciting thing about the Executive Club is that they have a separate aisle with automobiles more befitting an executive’s stature, like the Chevy Impala or Pontiac Grand Prix. This is really exciting, not only because driving executive level cars will make my business trips that much more productive, but also because I have been intensely jealous watching other business men & women who walk by me & my “regular” car aisle to their executive aisle. In anticipation of my move to the Executive Club I’ve been practicing my sneer in the mirror & visualizing exactly when I will drop it on the chumps using the “regular” car aisle. It will be a sweet, sweet day indeed.

Hilton Honors

I’m Gold baby – Gold VIP with Hilton Honors, that is. The Gold VIP level starts once you’ve had either 16 qualifying stays at any Hilton property, 36 qualifying nights, or accrued 60,000 base points – all during a 12 month period (it’s a rolling qualification instead of the usual calendar year period). I made it on qualifying nights with 41. As a gold VIP member I earn more points per stay (which can be used for free hotel nights and bragging to your friends), free snacks and fruit in your room, and the satisfaction that you’re special.

US Airways Preferred Status

Here’s the bad news – I am still not at a Preferred Status with US Airways. I need another 4 flights (connections count as 2 flights) or a little over 5,000 miles to make Silver preferred. If I had not worked for Pittsburgh clients in April and May I would be there. What Silver would get me is a free upgrade to First Class if any seats are open 2 days before my flight (Gold gets you into seats 5 days before your flight, and Platinum is 7 days before your flight). I might have to figure out how to do a “mileage run”, a multi-stop round trip flight intended to rack up maximum miles for the cheapest ticket. Mileage run masters can rack 20,000 miles in a single weekend.

The Future

I only need 2 more trips to get to Platinum with Hilton and Silver with US Air. I don’t think I’ll have the 39 rental days in the next 5 months necessary to get to Executive Plus with National, but that’s not such a big deal because you don’t get much extra from that. While Silver with US Air is a given, it will be interesting to see if I can get to Gold. I have an outside chance because I need 30,000 miles or 29 segments (each stop along your trip to your destination is a segment). While this sounds redonkulous I do have an ace in the hole – my credit card will be giving me 10,000 bonus miles before the end of the year, meaning I really only need 20,000 miles. I probably would have to do some crazy 37 hour straight, round-trip cross-country flight in order to get there (maybe more than once), but it might be worth it.



Executive Club benefits with National Rental car

All the benefits of Emerald Club, PLUS Executive Selection:
Counter bypass area with Fullsize or larger vehicles.
Requires a fullsize reservation, but you pay the Midsize rate.

Executive Upgrade:
For non-Executive Selection rentals, reserve a Fullsize, Premium or Luxury car and pay one car class less every time.

Hilton Honors Gold VIP membership benefits

Point Bonuses
Earn a 25% bonus on all HHonors Base points credited while you are a Gold VIP.
Enjoy HHonors Hotel Rewards without Blackout Dates
Effective May 1, 2006, Gold VIP members may redeem points for HHonors hotel rewards nearly any time, with the only exception being during specified Extraordinary Demand Dates at certain hotels. To make reservations for your reward stays, please contact 1-800-HHONORS (1-800-446-6677).
Upgraded Accommodations/Amenities
HHonors Gold VIP members are offered upgraded accommodations or amenities at Hilton Family hotels. The type of upgraded accommodation or amenity varies by type of hotel, as follows:


Hotels Choose Points or Choose In-Hotel Benefits
Hilton® Hotels in North America: 1,000 Points or Upgrade to Executive Floor (if available), OR Executive Floor Lounge access (if the hotel has a Lounge), OR High Speed Internet Access (available in the US and select locations in Mexico and Canada), OR complimentary continental breakfast for the member and one guest each day of the stay. If the rate already includes breakfast, a special food and beverage amenity will be presented.


Embassy Suites® New Benefits 500 Points or Complimentary Internet Access or a variety of snacks and fruit.

HHonors Gold VIPs may choose either HHonors bonus points, High Speed Internet Access or two (2) snacks/beverages.
Hampton Inn®, Hampton Inn & Suites®: 250 Points or One (1) bottle of water and 1 snack item.

Hilton Garden Inn®: 750 Points or Complimentary Full American Breakfast for you and one guest throughout your stay and upgraded room accommodations (subject to availability upon check-in).

Hilton Grand Vacations Club®: n/a n/a $10.00 coupon for use during a qualified stay*. Coupons are valid for purchases within select on-property retail shops, excluding alcohol.

*Qualified stay refers to those reservations booked at a rack rental rate.


Additional Gold VIP Benefits:
Complimentary Health Club Privileges: Enjoy complimentary access to the health club or fitness center during your stay, at hotel owned and operated facilities.

VIP Only Rewards: HHonors Gold VIPs may choose from an exclusive selection of rewards at special VIP-only points levels.

I am the worst blogger in the world. Las Vegas and the following week were horrible and the pain, along with computer problems, made me choose laziness over connecting with my dear readers. I don't know where to start - I've been laying around the house because my trip to Bakersfield, CA was postponed. The rockabilly gals in Bakersfield are weeping along with all of you.

So Many exciting things have happened in the last few weeks:

* Joe has started his real job teaching at Penn State. I think his last full time job
was delivering hot wings in New Jersey.

* Allison bought a house!! Adale and I will have our very own room to sleep in when
we visit for thanksgiving!

* Adale and I are 99% ready to aquire another kitten.

Adale & I are going to Ithaca for Labor Day weekend. We're going to rent an apartment across the creek from our old place. It should be very exciting.

I hope y'all haven't given up on Business n'at because I feel recharged and ready to lay it all on the line. Peace be with you and check yourself before you wreck yourself.