NEVER FORGET!

I apologize for not posting much in my first 2 weeks of work, but it's been a difficult week for office workers across the country. This is a week that will live in infamy in cubicles & break rooms - Bennigan's is closing!!!

From this day forward, where will we go for great lunch deals like the Jack Daniels Buffalo Pork Finger Salad Wrap??? Wer're now forced to slum it at TGIF when we want to cut loose during happy hour. A part of our culture died this week leaving a black hole in our hearts. Peace out - I'm going to drown my sorrows in an Extreme-Mellon-Mojito-Rita.

Whew, this week has been crazy!!! I meant to write something everyday but was so worn out I couldn't even think about it and fell into the blogger's negative feedback loop. I broke one of the 10 commandments of blogging by thinking "I'm tired tonight so I'll post double tomorrow", but when tomorrow comes you're still tired but have 2 days of fun & merriment to write about...

First day I take care of some HR stuff & then get my very own cubicle, complete with computer, desk, filing cabinet, and shelves. 25 square feet that I can call my own. I'm going to observe my fellow office mates in their natural environs before personalizing my cubicle - I don't want to make waves & give people something to talk about in the break room. The boss was busy finishing up a big report and left me with some things to read. I looked through the stuff as much as possible, and when that got boring I screwed around on the internets. I did go to lunch with my fellow co-workers, who are all very nice. Being the oldest person in the group is an exciting change from my previous position where I met with old, rich people all day long. I picked up my Qdoba frequent burrito-eater card and am on my way to free lunches. Not as exciting as my Hilton Honors Diamond Status but you take what you can get.

Day 2 & 3 were very uneventful. The bossman still had nothing for me to do and the other people who were supposed to train me were too busy to meet. Again I spent 95% of the day looking around on the internet and feeing guilty about it. I understand that this guilt is something seasoned office workers have shed...I think within a week or so I'll feel great about screwing off all day.

Day 4 was my orientation. I honestly felt excited about working for University X after hearing about it's history and recent accomplishments. Being susceptible to suggestion as well as gullible will serve me well during my tenure in the office.

Day 5 was the yearly staff enrichment day retreat. I'll write a little about this later if I remember, but it included power point presentations with charts & graphs of last year's accomplishments as well as next year's goals, sessions on relieving stress and feng shui, skits, and 50 year old university administrators rapping. I'll post the video of the rap jam another day.

The bossman said that I'll be able to get rolling this week with real live work. Peace out bitches.

For Joe, here's the official trailer for The Watchmen

DATELINE: Filthydelphia

All right, I'm a bit stressed out about starting tomorrow. I feel like I'm not prepared but, as Adale reminded me, all I have to do is show up & they'll tell me what to do. Tomorrow should be a meet & greet with my new best friends at the office, a tour of the coffee break room, rules & regs for teh copy machine, and maybe a fun lunch. Wish me luck!

BREAKING NEWS: We have full internets power!

Internet just got installed. Expect more posts over the weekend, but for the moment I have to update my porn library (you wouldn't believe how behind you can get after just one week offline).

DATELINE: Neighborhood coffee shop, PA

It's been a busy first week so far. We're almost totally unpacked & the place is coming together, even though last Friday, our first day in the apartment, the toilet clogged up and wasn't fixed until Monday. In truth we were both excited because the landlord put us up in a Hilton for the weekend while the toilet was busted.

Because of my Diamond status with Hilton we received the royal treatment, including access to the special Honors floor & Lounge. The Lounge offers a continental breakfast on tech weekends (we get free buffets during the week) as well as snacks & drinks in the evening. Saturday night we showed up at the end of the Lounge hours. Because he was closing up the Lounge, Lito, the Lounge attendant, remembered that I liked Gin & Tonics and offered me an entire 1.75 liter bottle of Tanqueray and unlimited mini bottles of tonic to take back to our room. I opted for the tall glass of straight gin & three mini bottles.

Unfortunately it got clogged up again last night & who the hell knows what they're going to have to do. There's a chance they'll have to replace the floor (the boards are rotting) as well as do some serious plumbing work. Hotel life is nice but it's not close to the train I'll need to take to work next week.

The picture below should give you a little flavor of our neighborhood. It's a display from the CVS selling both High School graduation banners and condoms. Kind of like peanut butter and jelly, really. I like the condom's name, "YourTube".

DATELINE: Deep inside Amish Country

We survived day 1 of the move - loading up the truck, cleaning the apt, and driving out near Philly. We spent the night in a hotel in Denver, PA, about 1 hour outside Philly & are going out to the apt this morning to unload the truck.

We're in Amish country. I've never been interested in visiting Amish country. I am interested in the Amish but thought it would be too voyeuristic to roll up & gawk. Our hotel had a bunch of brochures promoting Amish tourism - I had no idea that Amish country was all about huge meals of tasty looking food. Check out this description from the Good n' Plenty Restaurant:

A typical dinner may include Baked Country Ham, Mashed Potatoes, Roast Beef, Crispy Fried Chicken, Baked Country Sausage, Noodles, Vegetables, Chow Chow, Pork & Sauerkraut, Pepper Cabbage, Homemade Bread, Shoo Fly Pie . . . and much, much more!

Damn!! They had me at Baked Country Ham. I definitely will be making a trip out to strap on my Amish farm feast.

hey guys, we're back from NY and have one more day before we load up the truck & roll out to Philadelphia. The weather was great in Chautauqua but it was hard to relax with the move hanging over our heads.

Today: cleaning, running last minute errands (just realized that one headlight burned out on the car).

I will leave you with a scene from what I dare say is one of the greatest television shows o ever grace the small screen.....Battle Bugs!

Crayfish vs. Scorpion

Hey all,

Just wanted to let you know that posting will be sparse for the next week or so due to the move. My parents are here & have been a big help with the final push to finish up the packing. Adios.

A few days ago I made an exciting discovery in the garage. I was going through my numerous tubs & boxes when I came across two tubs full of clothes, mostly shirts with a few pairs of pants. These included a number of old favorites that a few of you may remember me wearing - over 50 in total. One argument I would give to Adale about why I needed to keep buying vintage shirts at thrift stores was there is a limited amount of vintage shirts in the world and my fear that someday I wouldn't be able to find any. Now I think the reason I couldn't find any is because I had them all in tubs in my garage.

When I was going to Peru every year I had to have several wardrobes - a skinny one for the Fall, to accommodate the weight I would lose during the summer, a larger one for the Winter/Spring for when the lbs would begin to come back, and my field wardrobe for summer excavations. The tubs had a bunch of shirts from these wardrobes, ones I wanted to save because I hoped I could someday wear them.


These are the ones that were either too big, small, ratty, or boring to keep. Below are several pieces I had a particularly hard time giving up.



The black/white western shirt above was really hard to part with. I've had it since 1994 & have had lots of good times with it.

This is a shirt I bought new in Johnson City (at the Army/Navy store across from the Green Owl Diner) for field work in Peru.

I can't remember exactly when I bought this jacket, maybe 1990/91. In LA, I think.

I'm keeping these because they're the cream of the crop and, even if a few are too small, they're just too awesome to get rid of.


I took the ones I'm not keeping to three vintage re-sale stores & got a little over $100 for 15-20 shirts and teh rest went to a thrift store. I had dreams of finding some dorking 15 year old and making him instantly cool by giving him the shirts but just don't know any, and probably would get arrested trying to find one. Oh well. Someone will be very excited when they roll up on the East End Thrift.

Today is all about TCB. We've got odds & ends to pack up, have to spackle & paint over the holes in the walls, errands to run, and a going-away party tonight. To save room in the truck we've decided to make the sacrifice & drink up all of our liquor - those bottles are really heavy.

Did I mention that I've been making Starbucks Frappucino's at home? Here's my recipe:

2/3 cup double strength brewed coffee, chilled
1 cup milk
1 1/2 cups ice
1/2 - 1 tsp vanilla extract
3-5 tbs chocolate syrup

put it all in a blender, blend, and top with whip cream! You may have to add additional ice to get it to the right consistency. This poses a problem because additional ice will dilute the drink, so you can do what I did: make coffee ice cubes.

I found a few of my old favorite Atari games while going through my stuff - I played the shit out of these in Junior High.

BREAKING NEWS: I am very important!!!

OMG!!! Right, so I'm reading The Consumerist, catching up on all the important news a knowledgeable consumer like myself needs to know and what do I see? One of my very own fotos from my days as a business traveler along with a shout-out to yours truly!!!

They have a photo pool on flickr and I linked a some of my fotos to the pool in the hopes to expand my influence beyond my current select group of readers. And guess what - they finally used one of my pictures!!! Below is a little snapshot of the page, but you can click here to see it in it's full glory.


As many of you may recognize, my picture is the one of the building with the elephants.

This is very very exciting. It's a long-deserving vindication of my belief that I truly am more important than most people. I think I'll go have a piece of Adale's delicious fudge as a celebration

DATELINE: tha Crib

We're through getting rid of stuff and have been packing for the last several days. Adale says she'll be done by tomorrow (I've been packing but also am in charge of wrangling boxes & newspapers, calling the utilities, etc.).

The kitties have been en energized by the stacks of boxes in the apartment as well as the frequent re-arrangement of furniture. Boxes to jump into, climb on top of, chase each other around...you get the picture.

My parents are coming to town this week. They're going to stay until the 5th and then all of us are driving up to Chautauqua, NY. They are staying there for 2 weeks at the Chautauqua Institution, a kind of camp for adults with all sorts of speakers, classes, and art & theater stuff, and we'll be hanging out for a few days before coming back to town to loading up the truck for Phily. It'll be good to see them & I'm looking forward to going up to Chautauqua to relax and swim in the lake (if it's warm enough).

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

read about it here.

Art Criticism with Antonio D, part 2

've been scanning in bits & pieces of some comics and magazines before getting rid of them. Here are a few highlights.

Art Criticism with Antonio D


Some time ago at the recycling center I found a bunch of student artwork & notebooks in the magazines/junk mail bin. It was at the end of the school year and I imagine the teacher dropped off the papers that students failed to pick up. The one I kept (after reading through them all) is a notebook by Antonio D. I would guess he's a junior high student.

The notebook has drawings & thoughts on a number of significant 20th century artworks. I enjoyed going through the notebook and thought y'all might too.


The first is Roy Lichtenstein's "Look Mickey" from 1961. I read that his young son showed him a Donald Duck comic book and asked if he could paint something as pretty as the comic.






Unlike many of Antonio's other entries, he has no comment other than a sketch of the painting. I don't think Antonio has ever gone fishing because he didn't do a good job with the fishing poles. Interestingly, his reaction to the painting closely mirrors interpretations of Lichtenstein's work. The website for the National Gallery of Art (where the painting is located) has a page on the painting and says:

At the time the simplistic narratives and boldly graphic visual mannerisms of comics and advertising were understood to resist the powerful postwar legacy of abstract expressionist painting—the highly subjective processes and grand claims for psychic content that characterized the work of Jackson Pollock, Mark Rothko, Willem de Kooning, and other New York School artists whose achievement had recently placed American art at the center of a world stage.

Remember the picture last week of all those old 1.44 mb discs? I went through all of them to make sure I had all the files on them before throwing them out & found some pictures from Peru, all from the excavations at Conchopata in 2001.


This action shot is of Juan Carlos & myself collecting samples for radiocarbon dating from the floor of a room (or patio, I can't remember). If I remember correctly, the dates we have from those buildings suggest they were built after 800 AD.


We did not find any child/juvenile burials during the field seasons of 1999 & 2000. Over the course of a 2 week span in 2001 we found a bunch of child/juvenile burials like the one above. Most were found underneath the floors of rooms, most were single individuals in a flexed position, and I think most or all had pots on their heads like this little fella.



Here's JC malking on the un-excavated bulk from EA-143, a sunken circular building. I directed the excavation of the building and it ended up being pretty cool.

The picture above is of the steps down into the building, and in the center of the building was a small, stone lined cist (about 1m wide and 1m deep. The building was some sort of ritual space - we found no evidence that people cooked, processed foo, made pots, or any of the other kind of daily activities people may have done. The floor was covered in about 4=6 inches of ash, suggesting that the last thing people did in the building before it was abandoned was to burn a bunch of stuff inside it. In the back of the building, opposite of the steps, we found 22 human skulls on the floor and a few human hands (can't remember how many). Most of the skulls have small holes drilled into them that were likely used to put them on strings, and most have cut marks indicative of de-fleshing, meaning these weren't old skulls they had lying around but were taken from living people.




This is one of the smaller Conchopata style urns (and an empty bottle of rum).

In preparation for our move we've been weeding through our stuff and trying to make some hard choices about what we really want to bring to Philly. This moght come as a surprise to some but I have a lot of clothes, maybe twice as much as Adale. Our new place does not have many closets so I am thinning out my clothes to the bare bones, keeping just the cream of the crop.

Sadly, the jacket above did not make the cut. I've had this jacket for years (10? 15? I can't remember). It's been good to me. For most of the time I had the jacket it was my favorite - warm enough but not too warm, stylish, brown. But it's seen better days and I'm at a point in my life where it's time to let it go. You've been a good jacket to me, Mr. Archie Bunker jacket, and I wish you well on your travels.

Robert Orben, King of Komedy


Patter Parade by Robert Orben, originally uploaded by El Grande Mono.

I found these awesome little books while rooting around at Hub’s Place in Ithaca last fall. I've scanned in parts of two of them - Patter Parade (published in 1947) and Flip Lines (published in 1952). The books have page after page of jokes, gags, and come-backs for professional comedians speakers, and magicians. I bought them thinking of Sara and her love of corny jokes but have never got around to sending them out to her. I just re-discovered them as we’re sifting through our junk for the move.

The author, Robert Orben, wrote them, and dozens of other books like them. Mr. Orben is a long-time professional comedy writer who has written for all sorts of famous comedians. These are genuine, old-school jokes and gags from a guy who must have created hundreds of thousands of jokes in his lifetime. He wrote Jack Paar’s monologues for the old Tonight Show and helped write speeches for Nixon & Ford. If you can believe it, in1963 or 1964, every day he was sending a page of jokes to Dick Gregory (social activist/comedian) – AND a page jokes to Barry Goldwater (arch-conservative). Here's a great interview with him from 2004 where he talks about his carer, writing jokes and speeches, and comedy.

I've put some of my favorite lines below, but my favorite overall is the entire routine titled "My second impression of an evening with a push button radio."

Dancer:

• She claims she has talent in her blood. She must have lousy circulation because it hasn’t reached her feet yet.

No Laughs:

• You keep acting like this and I won’t tell you the funny stuff.

Beautiful Girls:

• One day she so got drunk she found herself in a strange apartment – hers.

• The story of her success can be told in one word – yes.

Restaurant:

• I won’t say what the food was like but even the mice ate out.

Hospital Daze:

• One day I was feeling so bad I sent my wife out to get for something for my liver…and she came back with a pound of onions!

Crime doesn’t pay but the hours sure are good!

• He was so crooked that even that wool he pulled over your eyes was 50% cotton.

• He finally passed away during a poker game. Died of a rare disease called five aces. Left a wife, three kids, and six cops without support.

BREAKING NEWS: We have a place!!!

We drove out to Philly on Thursday and the next morning put a deposit down on a row house. We saw several places Thursday evening but had our eyes on one that we toured Friday morning - and we ended up getting the one we wanted. It's a little shabbier than the pictures below make it seem (they're from the craigslist ad) but, except for the tiny tiny bathroom, I think it'll be great. We'll have a front porch & small backyard and it's just steps from a main drag with coffee shops, restaurants, bars, etc etc. The un-official move date is July 10th. Yeah!!!!!!!!

BREAKING NEWS: I GOTZ A JOB!!!

I got the official word a few hours ago that I have the job. We're driving out to Philly tomorrow to look for a place.

I'm also selling two fiberglass chairs on craigslist & someone in Philly wants them, so we're bringing them along too. I really think we can make big bucks selling junk on craigslist.

BREAKING NEWS: I love making $$

Below is the stat sheet from my various sales over the past 2 weeks. I think we could make some real money if we focused on rounding up goodies from out around Adale's parents place and selling it to fools here in the big city.

Wardrobe	Free (basement of Ithaca apt.	$60
Ikea chair	Free (from Rhonda)	$45
Green chair	< $15	$35
Ikea bar stools	Free (from Rhonda)	$20
Corner shelf	< $50	$60
Record player	Free (from Juan Carlos)	$45
Porch glider	$35	$150
Wardrobe	Free (basement of Ithaca apt.)	$60
Vintage linen	< $3	$6.99
Ikea sofa	$50 (sofa was free from Rhonda, cover $50)	$45

Total paid for items: < $153
Total sales for items: $428.99

Total minimum profit: $275.99

Fun Times at Kennywood!!!!!

FILE0123, originally uploaded by El Grande Mono.

DATELINE: My Couch

Hey Hey Hey, what's shakin' people? We're drinking a little coffee, I'm checking on my ebay auctions, and Adale is coordinating our Kennywood trip today. We're planning out our outfits, perhaps the most crucial facet of a Kennywood trip, because matching outfits are critical to the full Kennywood experience.

I've been making big $$$ on Craigslist and will post a list of all my sales in the next few days. Adale & I decided to sell one of our gliders because 1) we have too many 2) the one we want to sell is a sliding one and not the hanging ones we like better 3) the one we want to sell is in perfect condition. So I listed it on Craigslist for $150, thinking that while it's painful to get rid of such a nice glider I wouldn't mind drowning my sorrows in a fistful of ca$h. Guess what - someone wrote me just hours after I posted it saying that they were really excited & want to see on Monday.

We've been laying low so far this weekend & trying to drink up our liquor so we won't have to move with it. Because of the heat I have been working on a frozen margarita recipe but still have some calibrating to do. This is what I'm doing:

2 oz tequila
2oz lime juice
1 oz simple syrup
1 oz triple sec

Fill ice in blender so ice & liquid are about the same height, blend.

The problem I hit is that to get the nice slushy consistency I end up adding so much extra ice that it substantially waters down the drink. Am I blending the ice too much? Any suggestions (Carrie?) would be greatly appreciated.

Have a Super Sunday & I'll ride the Jackrabbit 2X for all of you

Damn!!! I don't what I did or how I did it, but something amazing is going on here at Business n'at. Can you feel it? I can feel it! Wait, I don't know...maybe I'm feeling it...I think the wall just moved...yeah, I'm feeling it.

Moments ago I checked the value of Business n'at and look at what came up

My blog is worth $2,258.16.
How much is your blog worth?

$2000!! If I can get the blog to continue increasing in value at the same rate it's grown in it's first few years, 20 years from know I'll be filthy rich. All of this because of you, my dear & loyal readers. I will remember your support during these early days whilst sipping champagne on my yacht.

I Love Pittsburgh!

Backup

Backup, originally uploaded by El Grande Mono.

Already getting nostalgic for the 'Burgh

Click to enlarge

You know what's awesome? My drug-free urine is awesome.


I should also note that last Friday night I was never worried about anything bad happening from the hives even though the previous post may have been a bit dramatic.

All Praise Cthulu that the weekend is over. I spent much of Friday night & early Saturday morning in the Emergency Room. Friday we went out to Aunt Barb's to swim and had a relaxing afternoon in her pool. However, my hives started acting up & after we had delicious pizza at Armando's Pizza I had to go to CVS for some drugs. After downing 2X the recommended dose of Benadryl along with other antihistamines Adale drove us home. Unfortunately the hives continued to get worse and around 10pm my throat started to tighten up (it's closed twice before during an attack) so I had Adale drive me to the hospital.

I should mention that I was kind of loopy from all the Benadryl so when the ER people started to shoot me up with drugs I stared at the needle. Because have a weak stomach I got woozy from seeing the needle enter my vein and had to ask for a bucket to puke in. Luckily I didn't puke, but the drop in blood pressure associated with my wooziness created a rather unpleasant sensation that continued through to the next day.

The first dose of injections slowed down the hives & throat closing but didn't completely reverse the symptoms. I was, however, pretty high and felt great considering the circumstances. Eventually the doctor gave me more shots & the hives went down enough so I could go home (4 hours after we got there).

Needless to say Saturday was a wash for me. I felt crummy most of the day, especially since one of the ER nurses may have predicted that I'm allergic to wheat gluten. He asked whether I had several symptoms - which I do have - and then said that I might be allergic to wheat. Talk about a downer - no beer, no hamburgers, no pizza, no cookies. Make a list of every food you like to eat and I'll bet that every one has some form of wheat gluten in it. Life would totally suck. I don't have to mention that I can't smoke weed because of my new job.

Anyhooters, I guess I should be grateful that I didn't die and that someone bid on one of my Ebay auctions. That sentence was too dramatic - I was never worried that anything serious would happen. Because of all the Benadryl coursing through my veins I honestly felt pretty good throughout the evening.

Not eating wheat gluten, however, is driving me crazy and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to do it. In February I had a blood test that did say I was slightly allergic to Wheat, but it also said I was allergic to tomatoes, onions, and lots of other things that I like to eat. My only comfort is that I read that chronic hives (which I apparently have) often cannot be attributed to any cause, particularly in people with psoriasis (which I have) and other immune deficiency diseases. That would be great because it would mean that I could eat whatever I wanted to eat, but it would also mean that I could come down with a deadly hive attack no matter what I do.

I've got to go to sleep - fortunately there are no wheat glutens in vodka tonics - but don't worry, I'm pretty certain that I'll be around to write more tomorrow.

BREAKING NEWS: The $$$ is rolling in!

Craigslist came through again and we sold a wardrobe yesterday for $60. It was one that Adale found in the basement of our place in Ithaca & repainted white. We have a bookshelf on there now but so far no one has written in about it. Do you think $120 is too much? I also haven't received any bids on my ebay stuff yet but maybe people are waiting until the last minute to snatch things up.

We're rolling out to Aunt Barb's to go swimming. It's finally turned hot & humid here.

Obama is going to KRUSH him in November

$35!!! A lucky young man named Brian took home our stylish green & blue chair for the low, low price of $35 dollars. I feel like Donald Trump, making big deals and watching my bank account blow up.

BREAKING NEWS: WE'RE MOVING TO PHILLY! (probably)

I heard from University X (don't want to write their name here) and the department wants to hire me & said I should I be hearing form HR with a formal offer this week. It feels very strange but that's what's happening. We're thinking abut the Mt. Airy neighborhood in NW Philly - supposedly it's where lots of lesbians live & love so I shouldn't have any troubles making friends. University X wants me there on 7/1 so things will be moving pretty quickly.

We're beginning to weed through our treasures & I am selling some goodies on craigslist & ebay. I listed the chair yesterday afternoon and already 5 people have written to ask about it. I couldn't believe how many people wrote in and I'm kicking myself that we haven't been making big $$$ bringing up treasuries from out near Adale's parents. I just put the magazines on ebay last night and so far no bids, but I think usually people don't bid until the last few days.

Does this ring a bell for any of my dear readers? Below is the abstract for a PhD dissertation from Erik Ottoson, an Anthro/Ethnology student at Uppsala University in Sweden - his research "brings into focus how individuals search for objects" in flea markets, refuse skips, shopping streets and malls From the abstract:

The aim of the thesis is to study the search for things and how it influences individuals and their relations to objects and the places in which they search.The thesis focuses on what is termed serendipitous searching – i.e. an activity of open browsing for anything that awakens the person’s interest. That means that the people in the study are not just looking for certain things – they are also seeking to come to terms with what they are actually looking for. Ideals of what is beautiful, useful and reasonable materialise in conjunction with the experience of what is available and what is absent or out of reach. It is suggested that this mode of looking for goods is not only about purchase deliberations, but more importantly is a specific way of interacting with the world and making places meaningful. It can be viewed as a way of creating and moderating anticipation, and thereby cultivating affect. Searching for things thus becomes an experiential horizon.

Part I: “Searching and Space” deals with how searching for something becomes a specific way of engaging with the physical surroundings. The landscape becomes a taskscape, i.e. an array of physical structures linked together by a set of related activities. Part II, “Discoveries and Rubbish” explores how the activities of searching charges objects with qualities. Through two different environments, searching is analysed as a way of elevating things from the status of rubbish to one of discovery. Part III: “From the Horizon of Finding” focuses on how the searchers’ aims are transformed when they encounter the objects that really exist.

We're off to Philly today for my second interview. Initially we were against moving there but now there's a good chance we'll do it if I get the job. Neither of us want to be there long term but we haven't had any other job prospects in Pittsburgh, Ithaca, or Austin. I recognize that Ithaca & Austin would take a while to work out and hopefully we can figure out what we want to do longer term (and where we want to do it) while in Philly. Anyhooters, we'll be on the road until late Thursday. Bye for now.

DATELINE: My Couch, Pittsburgh PA

I know it's been a few weeks since I last posted but I actually have been busy. What have I been doing?

1. I sang at karaoke (Blondie, Talking Heads, Wall of Voodoo, David Allen Coe, etc.).
   
2. We drove out to Philly for my job interview.
3. Roadtrip to Nashville to figure out our lives like Brittney in Crossroads.
   
4. On the way to Nashville we stayed a night at the Seelbach Hotel, a super fancy, old hotel in Louisville (check out the photo gallery).
   
5. While in Louisville we visited the giant Louisville Slugger baseball bat and Col. Sanders' grave (which started a huge, serious fight between Adale & I).
   
6. Had tons of fun in Nashville and visited Cooter's Place, spent quality time with Allison, toured the Opryland Hotel, ate fancy Mexican style popsicles, met some of her nice friends.
7. We went to the unofficial Lesbian Karaoke Night at a local bar where yet another young lady-lovin' gal spontaneously expressed their admiration for my fashion sense (a different gal said, "You're more of a dyke than I am." I do have to give thanks to Allison because I was wearing the shirt she gave me last week.
8. After some soul-searching about my life I decided to go after my dreams because life is too short, so I am announcing that I am developing a new blog where I will chronicle my cinematic journey through every Bigfoot and Yeti movie ever made.
9. I received my first unemployment $$ - I'm rich, bitch!
   

This is why I love Best Buy (wait until 0:40)


Best Buy Dance Off - Watch more free videos

This is my all time favorite SNL commercial. And trust me, you cannot break free of those claws, because they truly are made of metal and robots are strong.
Insuring the Aging American Population is priority ONE!

Please put your hands together for M.C. No Dignity

Hey hey hey

All is good here in the 'Burgh. Adale & I were all business yesterday - cleaned out our nasty dirty car, did laundry (had to go to a laundromat because we're having some plumbing problems), dropped of recycling, and made a tasty Indian dinner. It would have been a perfect day if the I hadn't put Sky Capitan & the World of Tomorrow on our netflix list. We watched it last night & oh my god is it a terrible movie.

We're going to see the new Harold & Kumar movie this afternoon. We've been waiting for months for it to come out and I almost don't want to see it because I won't really have anything to look forward to after we watch it.

This link has more Victorian death portraits like the one below, and this one will show you cats that look like Wilfred Brimley.


We'll report later on how the movie had changed our lives & the course of history.

I might as well share with all of you how I'm throwing my life away


Funny intro to a porno scene (sfw)

Make sure to watch the bride's face.

WOOT!

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Because I know all of you are very interested in the supposed Jimi Hendrix sex tape, here's the link to the official site. Click here to see a still (no nudity but nsfw). From watching the preview I am doubtful about it being Hendrix. The dude is definitely biting Jimi's style but it doesn't look like him to me.

The most suspicious aspect of the tape is that it appears to have been professionally (or at least semi-professionally) filmed. The camera seems to move around, meaning that someone was in the room operating it (Jimi didn't just set it up himself), and it also looks like the action is lit for the filming & not from typical household lights. Notice how the people are well lit, and when one of the ladies is riding Jimi, her shadow is directly behind her on the wall. Imagine on one or both sides of the camera there were lights on stands facing the the scene. This would make all three people well-lit on film & create shadows of the three on the vertical wall directly behind them. Now imagine the room was lit by the typical floor lamp and/or ceiling lights. I think the lighting should be different than what we see in this film.

The film has the aesthetics of 1960's porn & not a home movie, although we know that people often try to imitate both the filmic & thematic attributes of professional porn in their own home made dirty movies (as well as in the bedroom). Both the apparent movement of the camera & the shadows could be artifacts of the editing process for the preview so we'll have to wait & see the original when it comes out.


UPDATE: Here's a link to the trailer. It's not much more than a minute long but only has a few seconds from the sex tape. It's an FLV file so you may need to download the FLV movie player.

BREAKING NEWS: I wish Hulkamania wasn't running wild

Adale was right. Ever she first saw the Hulk Hogan reality show she sensed something f'd up about Hulk & his daughter. And yes, that's him rubbing her ass.




Hulk always pretended he was standing up for the American way, but I guess we should have known what lurked in the Hulkster's heart after 9/11

Prince covers Radiohead's "Creep" at Coachella

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

BREAKING NEWS: DICK CLARK DROPS THE HAMMER

I just got the following email from Youtube telling me that even though I switched the sound on the Prince video, Dick Clark made them take the video down. What a Dick!

Dear Member:

This is to notify you that we have removed or disabled access to the following material as a result of a third-party notification by Dick Clark Productions, Inc. claiming that this material is infringing:

1985 American Music Awards: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8SfoIaqinQ

Please Note: Repeat incidents of copyright infringement will result in the deletion of your account and all videos uploaded to that account. In order to prevent this from happening, please delete any videos to which you do not own the rights, and refrain from uploading additional videos that infringe on the copyrights of others. For more information about YouTube's copyright policy, please read the Copyright Tips guide.

If you elect to send us a counter notice, please go to our Help Center to access the instructions.

Be aware that there may be adverse legal consequences in your country if you make a false or bad faith allegation of copyright infringement by using this process.

Sincerely,
YouTube, Inc.

Never forget that Dick Clark was busted in the payola scandal of the '50's. What a douchebag.

BREAKING NEWS: EVERYBODY IS FASCINATED WITH WIENERS!

Usually the "penis" news on the News n'at headlines links to various stories about some dude getting his wang cut off, but I just looked over and it leads with this story

My 27-year-old son's penis points straight out and won't come fully erect. I know that it's affecting his confidence with girls. Anything to suggest? ...

I couldn't bring myself to read the story but if one of you do please let me know how the lady should deal with the situation.


Speaking of wangs, here's a website for everybody: Full Frontal Friday. It's a spin-off of my favorite gossip website, Crazy Days and Nights. Anyway, FFF features full frontal shots of celebrity dudes, bacon & eggs included. Check it out, it'll make you feel good.

DATELINE: My Couch

Greetings to all of my loyal minions. I just got a new phone so keep you peepers peeled for an email with my new phone number. It's doesn't have as much gadgetry as the Treo but it looks way cooler. Next time we talk you can imagine me lounging about, chatting on this awesome phone



Adale & I have been working all day so there's not too much exciting to report. Even though he was vaccinated against it, last week Mr. Peaches caught a virus from Mimi. He was really sick for a week & then has been dealing with excess snot. One of his eyes is leaking goo, and even though we clean it he often had crusties that make him keep the eye shut.

I feel bad for all of you who didn't get to see the Prince video because it's awesome.

In other news, here's some fun stuff from Boing Boing:

The picture below is from the website Suicide Food, dedicated to signs featuring animals encouraging people to eat them:




The video below highlights the stoner soldiers of the Afghan National Army

I'm not sure what to say about this, but Willie & Snoop performed together in Amsterdam.

If Adele & I ever get married I'm registering here.

SHOKING STORIES FROM THE UPCOMING SIEGFRIED & ROY UNAUTHORIZED BIO:

* Siegfried and Roy enjoyed foursomes with
Liberace and his boy-toy Scott Thorson.

* Siegfried was so scared of the animals
he'd never even hold their leashes.

* Their tricks are done with body doubles
and concealed panels.

* Roy died for a while during surgery
after being bitten by Montecore the tiger.

* Shirley MacLaine is one of many of
their friends who believes Roy did
die and that Siegfried parades around a
hired lookalike.

* the animals had to be zapped with electric
prods to perform.

I am such an idiot for never seeing Prince in concert. The video is from the 1985 American Music Awards. I don't know about y'all, but I think it's fucking amazing.

***UPDATE - Prince ordered me to take down the video or change the audio. I knew that The Purple One didn't allow people to put any videos with any of his music online without permission (which he never grants) and would come after me. So I switched the audio. If y'all want the clip let me know & I'll upload it somewhere you can download it.

Politics is a dirty, dirty business

Poor killbots. Trapped in a world they never made!