BREAKING NEWS: Tragedy Strikes!

As most of you have heard, a horrible, unspeakable tragedy happened with Us Airways last week. One of their planes hit some birds, causing the engines to go out, and the pilot had to make a miraculous landing in the Hudson river.

 The, the unimaginable occurred.

Us Airways gave all of those whiny, greedy, selfish passengers Chairman's Preferred Status for FREE for the next year!!! Are you f-ing kidding me? Only true road warriors are awarded this most prestigious preferred flyer level, which virtually guarantees First Class upgrades on every flight. You surely remember all the hell I went through to get Silver Preferred with US Airways. Those lucky-duckies did absolutely nothing & they're now the most elite of the elite. Their flight was in the air for 6 minutes. I had to make 25 grueling flights in one calendar year just for Silver. 

I can hear them now - "Waaaah, I landed in the water. Waaah, I had to stand on the wing of the plane." Most of them have no idea the horrors of shit holes like the Rapid City Regional Airport. Want to have a tasty slice of Sbarro pizza before your flight - you're fucked because all they have is a crappy cafeteria. Don't even get me started about assignments in dry counties, hotels that are stingy with extra bars of soap, or what waiting day in & day out for the breakfast pizzas at the hotel buffet does to your soul. 

Don't think I'm some cold hearted ex-business traveller. Listen to commenter Fedupincomptence writing at Usatoday.com (the newspaper of choice for all business travellers):

None of the passengers should be given Chairman Preferred! I've been flying US Airways for over a quarter of a century with some close calls and the only thing I get is what I earn. I have broken my rear to EARN & MAINTAIN Platinum Status. These folks should take their $5,000 they got for losing their bags and be quite. You want Chairman, platinum, Gold, Silver, YOU MUST EARN IT!

Chairman Preferred for a six minute flight? You can't punch me in the nutz and call me daddy - that just isn't right.