Possibly the Most Important Find in Bigfoot History?

Hey howdy friends! I've been on pins & needles about tomorrow's big press conference. You know, the guys from Georgia who say they have a Bigfoot body & are going to offer dna proof that it's a real Bigfoot. The picture above is of the supposed Sasquatch in a cooler.

I haven't been able to concentrate at work with thoughts running through my head about the possibility that we will have actual proof of He Who Walks Among Us. I know scientists could clone it, so maybe in a few years we'll all have pet Sasquatch's sleeping at our feet while we read the paper & have a highball at night.

Everything is happening so fast in the BRC (that's Bigfoot Research Community) since the announcement of the press conference and, as we all expected, those dicks at BFRO (the Bigfoot Field Researchers Org) are acting all skeptical & tying to convince everyone that the Georgia Bigfoot Body is a hoax. The BFRO chumps believe the photo above is really this costume! Dudes, it's obviously can't be the costume - just read the Georgia dude's description & then tell me if it sounds like they're describing a Halloween costume or the real deal!

*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
*It weighs over five hundred pounds.
*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
*It is male.
*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
five toes on each foot.
*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are
eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.

Can't buy that shit at Spencers. Nuff 'said. Peace out Yetis.