Meckalecka Hi Mecka Hiney Ho friends!

Another week is coming to an end at the office. The bossman has been away for 2 straight weeks, meaning an extra few minutes in the break room & 2 more chit-chat sessions added into the daily routine! I may celebrate the end of the week & casual friday with a donut tomorrow morning.

Allison is coming in for the weekend & we're super super excited. I have tortillas, cheese, & refried beans waiting for the word that quesadillas are desired. Y'all have fun & I'll check in later.

Introducing Fortune Cookies to the Chinese

DATELINE: Big Blue

It's been more difficult than I imagined it would be to get used to the 9-5 world. I love my cubicle, my train ride, having a 7-11 on campus just 4 doors down from my building, and being paid to sit in front of a computer all day, but in some strange way that I don't completely understand, routine makes it difficult to plan certain things. Specifically, it's been hard to keep up with Casual Friday's n'at. But never fear, dear readers, because I have put my considerable business experience, along with my innate ability to monetize synergistic relationships, to work solving this issue and I foresee a dramatic shift in the frequency of posts in the near future.

Top 5 things I like to talk to my co-workers at the beginning of the day*

1. recent alligator attacks
2. my kitties
   
3. The a/c system, because some days its not working & the office is really muggy
4. sasquatch
5. green eggs and ham**

* all are from actual conversations
** except this one

Researcher says Bigfoot just a rubber gorilla suit

I never saw this coming - someone in the government finally got to the Georgia guys & made them change their story.

BREAKING NEWS: New Video of Bigfoot!

This story keeps getting stranger & stranger

Hey all - the Entertainment Lawyer (enty to his friends) had some juicy blind items last Friday, all involving major people from the 4th greatest TV show ever, 90210. Let's hear you guesses people!

Hey all - the Entertainment Lawyer (enty to his friends) had some juicy blind items last Friday, all involving major people from the 4th greatest TV show ever, 90210. Let's hear you guesses people!

Four For Friday

So how about some original 90210 blinds. They all involve people who were on the show. And no, not just people who were on for an episode or two.

#1 - This actress recently reunited with her former flame for about a week of loving when each of their current relationships turned sour at about the same time. After a week they realized why the hell they had broken up in the first place.

#2 and #3 - Despite the age difference, this younger actress on the show came out to this older actress on the show and they had a love affair for about a year. The older actress had been married, but was not at the time of the romance. The younger actress has never been married.

#4 - Although she was portrayed as innocent on the show, in real life, this actress was not so innocent. During the course of each season she would generally get with 4-5 different members of the cast and crew. If you do the math, it is quite the number.

MEANEST OBIT EVER?

Dolores Aguilar 1929 - Aug. 7, 2008 Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby. She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone. Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing. Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again. There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

BIGFOOT UPDATE - It's More Mysterious Than We Ever Imagined

The Georgia Bigfoot dudes announced in their press conference the results of two DNA tests. One test from the body had human DNA, another from the intestines had possum DNA. Our worst fears have been confirmed- Bigfoot is a not a non-homo sapien sapien branch of primate evolution but instead some hellish half-human/half-possum clone! I can only imagine the evil, devious mind that created this miserable beast

Here's a little bit of the press conference. It's from someone videotaping their TV so the quality isn't the greatest.

I HAD NO IDEA

I was on an Olympic training regimen.

Possibly the Most Important Find in Bigfoot History?

Hey howdy friends! I've been on pins & needles about tomorrow's big press conference. You know, the guys from Georgia who say they have a Bigfoot body & are going to offer dna proof that it's a real Bigfoot. The picture above is of the supposed Sasquatch in a cooler.

I haven't been able to concentrate at work with thoughts running through my head about the possibility that we will have actual proof of He Who Walks Among Us. I know scientists could clone it, so maybe in a few years we'll all have pet Sasquatch's sleeping at our feet while we read the paper & have a highball at night.

Everything is happening so fast in the BRC (that's Bigfoot Research Community) since the announcement of the press conference and, as we all expected, those dicks at BFRO (the Bigfoot Field Researchers Org) are acting all skeptical & tying to convince everyone that the Georgia Bigfoot Body is a hoax. The BFRO chumps believe the photo above is really this costume! Dudes, it's obviously can't be the costume - just read the Georgia dude's description & then tell me if it sounds like they're describing a Halloween costume or the real deal!

*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
*It weighs over five hundred pounds.
*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
*It is male.
*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
five toes on each foot.
*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are
eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.

Can't buy that shit at Spencers. Nuff 'said. Peace out Yetis.

Only 6 more months...

If I am elected president, I promise better robot insurance for every American!

Adale's sister is in town for the weekend & we're on a cupcake tasting mission for Kristin. The sacrifices we make for friends...

The past week went pretty smoothly - I only missed my train stop once, found some nice rich people, and began to add some flair to my cubicle (a few win-up robots and a small ceramic figurine of a Shriner. Allison has promised a few exciting surprises for my cubicle I can't wait to see.

We got a new couch - meet Big Blue!!

Through the magic of craigslist we got rid of our grey couch. We couldn't sell it with a clear conscience because every once in a while you could smell kitty pee on it, so I put it up for free & within 12 minutes of the posting people were blowing up my cell.

Big Blue fulfills many of our requirements for a couch. It's a sectional, it's big, and it's not ugly. We would have liked to not buy an Ikea couch because so much of the apartment was renovated with Ikea stuff, but Ikea is like crack. You are never free from it's grip.

We're off to eat cupcakes, cheesesteaks, and visit the Mutter museum. Adios!!

Surprisingly, I did not have a bad case of the Mondays yesterday. After getting some insight into my role in the university machine last week I was ready to greet the new week and make a difference in the workplace. A few exciting things happened in the past few days that make me cautiously excited about the new job:

• My job involves screwing around on the internet all day and that's exactly what I do when I'm unemployed.
  
• My boss assigned me to look through the NY Times & Wall Street Journal every morning. Can you fucking believe that? I have to read the paper every day BECAUSE THAT'S MY JOB!
  
• Casual Fridays. 'Nuff Said.

The Bong Water is So Smooth

NEVER FORGET!

I apologize for not posting much in my first 2 weeks of work, but it's been a difficult week for office workers across the country. This is a week that will live in infamy in cubicles & break rooms - Bennigan's is closing!!!

From this day forward, where will we go for great lunch deals like the Jack Daniels Buffalo Pork Finger Salad Wrap??? Wer're now forced to slum it at TGIF when we want to cut loose during happy hour. A part of our culture died this week leaving a black hole in our hearts. Peace out - I'm going to drown my sorrows in an Extreme-Mellon-Mojito-Rita.