As you surely know I had a god awful time in Beloit. I was depressed, the town was a craphole, and not even the Mexican restaurants could make the place livable. You know what would have brightened up my day? Encountering Bigfoot, but what the fuck would Bigfoot have been doing in Beloit? Apparently Bigfoot was chillin' in the marshes just North of Beloit.
In the spring of 2005 - THE SAME TIME I WAS IN BELOIT - a couple was driving on a road along a marsh in Lima Township and saw a Bigfoot hanging out in a ditch on the side of the road. They thought it might be a deer at first because it was brown, but as they got closer they saw it was obviously humanoid, and when it crossed the road in 2 easy steps they knew it wasn't a deer or a person. Matthew Moneymaker, the president and founder of the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization out of Laguna Beach, CA, went on a research trip to Wisconsin the year before and encountered other Bigfoots. He says that Wisconsin might be home to 200 of them.
200 goddamn Bigfoots in Wisconsin, some of which lived near where I was in Beloit...if there really was a god He would have one of them cross my paths. I really could have used a Bigfoot encounter when I was there. I'm pretty sure it would have changed my outlook and put an extra little bounce in my step, as long as it didn't attack me.
In other Bigfoot news, if any dear readers want to do me solid they could loan me $100,000 so I can buy a pristine, virgin copy of the Patterson-Gimlin film made in a film lab in 1968. I don't have the cash right now but I think it will be a good investment and I'll be able to begin a research project I've been developing over the past 15 years. I am able to buy the professional Bigfoot costume but it just wouldn't be the same, so I'll probably settle for casts of the famous Bigfoot "cripple foot" prints.
2 comments:
I saw on tv that they did a study to see if a human could walk like a bigfoot. They used the famous film footage as a basis for comparison. I wish I could remember who "they" were who did the study. Anyway, they got this guy all dressed up like a bigfoot; a very intricate suit, and then wired him up to create a virtual image on a computer. I think the subject was an actor b/c they needed someone to mimic the movements of the bigfoot-- as if I couldn't slouch and stumble. Well, there has to be some use for actors.
The "study" was meant to debunk or validate the film footage (are you shitting me?). In the end the results were inconclusive (are you shitting me?).It was amusing to see hardcore bigfeet specialists (did they get their doctorate in English?). Their passion is admirable, and scary.
The Bigfoot researchers do take their work seriously, and there have even been a few academic biologists who believed & published pro-Bigfoot articles. The non-academic ones are the best - hanging out in Bigfoot suits, looking for psychic imprints from the creature, and generally flaunting their ignorance of the scientific method. My favorite Bigfoot theory is that the creature is not an animal but a multi-dimensional entity somehow tied to alternate universes. I can't remember how but the alternate universes, which exist in other dimensions, cross over in to our world & this is where UFO's, Bigfoot, and all the other mysterious things come from.
When I was younger it was the mysteries themselves that got me excited. Now it's the true believers who are completely obsessed with the topic that interests me. I really love crackpots and wish I knew more of them.
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