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1 comment:
Well, I guess the word's out about penis power. We men have kept it a secret as long as possible. A few of the finer points of penis power:
1. It's sort of like karate, there are levels of skill. Most of the uninitiated men are at level one-- along with most animals. For them sex is nothing more than a chore, pure drudgery. Once you start to focus, your powers increase.
2. It all has to do with concentration. A man needs to focus his essence through his genitalia. The University of Alabama has secretly been doing studies on penis power, and has found that the well-known connection between dick and brain allows for more than just foolhardy decisions. A highly organized male has minor telekenic and telepathic abilities. Naysayers say that it's just bling-bling, but it's really penis power.
3. When a man taps into his penis power he emits a red glow, sort of the shade of Darth Vader's lightsaber. Women's vagina power is also responsible for a glow-- both have been mistakenly categorized as "afterglow" to keep people in the dark.
4. The upper levels of penis power are still uncharted. Some estimate that a particularly intense discharge of penis power will cause bleeding at the eyes, ears, and nose. Viagra gets you hard, but counteracts all the effects of penis power. A man becomes no more than a beast of burden with viagra.
5. Philosophers speculate that penis power was not meant to subjugate women, but to usher in a new golden age. In this sexual paradise desire and action are one; men and women could enjoy a transcendental experience every time, with whomever they chose. We currently have no real notion of spiritual sexuality except for the grotesque mockery of it as depicted on ABC evening soap operas and treachly romantic comedies.
6. Sadly, penis power researchers have not combined their efforts with vagina power scientists. Critics claim this state of affairs has set our knowledge back hundreds of years.
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