I, ROBOT.
Reply to: mailto:pers-319176295@craigslist.org?subject=I,%20ROBOT.Date: 2007-04-26, 11:26AM EDTSo, I've spent the last 2 days reposting my post because I've seemed to have offended some Western Pennsylvanians with my brand of truth mixed with humor. You see, apparently, although some enclaves of Pittsburgh are ultra-liberal--or , at least, that's what you're eco-friendly-poser-Priuses and be-rainbowed Subarus crowding Whole Foods would like to have us believe, and the Crazy Mocha, latte-sipping-wanna-be-sociologists cry out freedom of speech, they hate when the jokes on them. So, I'm going to concede, and become a drone. I'm guessing to fully accomplish this, I must like the opposite of the things I outlined in my previous posts that I thought were disgusting or just plain dumb about this city in order to find a date, right? I will list my apologies in form below:

Apology 1: I'm sorry I said Metrosexuals are just confused homos who are afraid to come out of the closet, and I now think they should be respected, even though, it's disturbing to see a guy wear pants so tight that they have a camel toe.

Apology 2: I'm sorry I don't believe in the word "bisexual". I mean, sure, a guy who ever fantasizes about another man, or has ever had a guys cock in his mouth may SEEM completely gay as hell, bisexuals are in a class of their own, and aren't anymore confused as a Metrosexual.

Apology 3: I apologize for saying that most women up here look like that flying dog from the Never Ending story simply because they are bloated looking and pale as a frogs belly. I understand that because of the weather, it's difficult to put down the hoagie, get out of the house, and find a gym.

Apology 4: I apologize for saying most the college students up here are just pretentious, stuck up, alleged artists and engineering sheep. I now understand that when they took that ONE semester of sociology, they have every right to analyse everyone and everything in the free world, and that they have every right to bitch about the president, even though they never actually vote because they'd rather "read" into how the senate is actually responsible for the actually elections. Or, if they are Indian, and managed to individualize, leave behind the 17,000 colleges in their homeland (only two of which are in the world's top 100) and the 400,000 engineers those community colleges 'graduate' (only about a third of which would be considered actual engineers here in the US, and then would would have had an education more akin to ITT Tech, then, say, RPI or CMU), come to Pittsburgh, and become, amazingly enough, engineers, and, thus, reinforce the caste system back at home and ensure the Curry Cat on a Stick trucks maintain adequate patronage. But I digress. Apology 5: And finally, I apologize because I'm from a place where folks have a sense of humor, and would find this shit completely hilarious. I now understand that in order to be funny here, you must have the kind of humor that's found only on "Frasier" or "Girlfriends", where being a snooty prick or a pretentious bitch is the "in" thing. Or, of course, "Hee Haw," but then I don't think people who live in Ambridge or Clairton even realize what craigslist is, lest Roy Clark and friends have been off the air for years, now. So, there ya have it. I have officially conformed, maybe now I can find the girl of my dreams here on CL; a large, pale, snooty, conspiracy-theory-having, moody shrew. I can't wait to meet you. Just call me R2-D2. I now must reboot. If I were still human, I guess that would mean I just threw up in my own mouth a little. Speaking of which, how many of you really are bulimic?