Friday, March 16, 2007

I Heart Academia


I am posting this with minimal comments. I feel I need to get it out there to let y'all soak in the awesomeness of this upstanding representative of higher education. I've got to clean up the house and get ready for our fun weekend: Tonight - dinner, Vagina Monologues, and video games/pinball; Tomorrow - roller derby and St. Patty's Day fun. I wish I could be in West Chester to see experience Joe's reaction first hand.

I'm a PhD student and this is my life


Reply to: pers-294280797@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-03-15, 2:10AM EDT


As one of the foot soldiers of the academic world, I feel it is my duty to debunk the stereotypes associated with academia and address how my peers in industry and professional school view me and my kind. I think it makes the most sense logistically to address this points individually so here we go.

1.) "You're just going for a PhD because you couldn't get a decent job."

Good PhD programs (top 10%) will only accept applicants with relevant work experience and at least a 3.8 GPA. Remember that job you interviewed for and you really wanted because it was the best company in the field, only took the best applicants, had the best benefits, etc.? Remember how crushed you were when you found out the position was filled? Yeah that was me, and that job bored me.

2.) "I'm more important than you because I'm in charge of ______ at work."

PhD students are the cornerstone of research that can change the world. Anytime the news reports that "Researchers at the University of ____ have found the cure for ____." or "____ University announced a breakthrough in nanotechnology" just remember that there was a PhD student in charge. So in twenty years when your car uses seawater instead of gasoline and Cancer is no longer a death sentence, make sure you tell your project team that there's nothing more important than turning in their time sheets by Friday at 1.

3.) "I have my MBA/JD/MD/DDS. Getting a PhD can't be that hard."

The US Department of Labor recognizes those 4 degrees as "First Professional Degrees". A PhD is classified as a Research Doctorate and is "the highest earned academic degree in U.S.

Hmm... I wonder which one is harder? In fact, the next time you feel like complaining about taking the bar or passing your state boards, ask someone with a PhD how they felt when he/she had to take the comprehensive examinations (quals for short) or defend his/her dissertation.

4.) "Your comprehensive exams can't be that bad."

Departments differ in the exact method of administering this exam, but generally there is a written component and an oral component. Usually taking place over an entire week, the student is judged on his/her ability to conduct novel research in the field. If the faculty administering the exam doubt the student's abilities, he/she is asked to leave the program, many times without anything to show for 2+ years of coursework. How's that for pressure?

5.) "You're an idiot for staying in school for so long."

I'm doing what I love and I will be for the rest of my life. That's why I'm getting a PhD. Keep that in mind when you're complaining about your manager breathing down your neck because you went over budget.

6.) "You dress like an undergrad, why should I take you seriously?"

This is my favorite one. Perpetrated by MBA students who took a class with me. Well Oliver, I have the highest grade in this class and this isn't even my field of study. I would've worn my slacks and power tie, but I was up late last night finishing my next publication. Nice bow tie though Oliver.

So in closing feel free to loathe and avoid those of us pursuing a PhD, but give respect where it's due. We're engaged in the noblest pursuit of the human existence: advancing the state of knowledge of the human race for the betterment of society. Without us, you'll run out of oil in 50 years if you haven't already died of Avian Flu.
postsecondary education. Research doctorates earned at accredited institutions are not awarded merely for completing coursework, professional preparation, or for passing examinations." Essentially to get a MBA/JD/MD/DDS, all that is required is to learn a topic and pass a test. To earn a PhD, a student must demonstrate a mastery of his/her field, complete a comprehensive examination, conduct novel research, and defend said research to a panel of experts.





  • Location: The barren wastelands of Academia
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



4 comments:

Unknown said...

First my eyes widened at the "foot soldiers" line, then they started rolling in five-word intervals.

I knew I was a punk-bitch, and now I have a manifesto to prove it.

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