BREAKING NEWS

CATS ARE CONTROLLING OUR LIVES. REJOICE!

In a surprise announcement scientists have discovered that the prime mover of human history are not contradictions between the forces and relations of production, but instead is a parasite that lives in cat shit. Some argue that this parasite, Toxoplasma gondii, affects such basic cultural traits as ego, money, material possessions, work, and rules. Other are saying that the parasite determines the sex ratio of human populations and even the frequency of car accidents. It has even been proven that the parasite alters human DNA.

I for one wish to welcome our Feline Overlords. I am here as their humble servant. If the Cats want to control our minds, our societies, and our DNA, they must have a very good reason for doing so. They only have our best interests at heart and we should all acknowledge their graciousness for allowing us to serve them daily. Those of you who do not support our Masters, all you need to do is let one live in your house and soon you will understand what your place is in their master plan. They truly are god's gifts to mankind.