MOST AWESOME BEVERLY HILLS 90210 / SAVED BY THE BELL GOSSIP

I don't want to influence your reading of this blind item so write in with your guesses & then I'll post mine.

So a little change of pace. After I saw that The Time was going to play the Grammy Awards it got me thinking about a time when I was just starting out. I used to promote concerts to get through school. This was when little guys still could do it and corporations had not swallowed up every possible venue. I had promoted The Time two or three times and made some money. I had got to know some of the group and once we happened to be in Las Vegas at the same time. They invited me to their show and to a party they were having after. I want to say they were playing at the Riviera, but I can't remember. I think it was because this was when Frank Sinatra was still alive and I remember thinking I had seen him play in the same room a week earlier and how crazy Vegas is that two totally different acts can both pack in a crowd. Of course Sinatra tickets were three times the price of The Time tickets.

Anyway, after the show, we went to a club or two, but this was still the older Vegas. Excalibur was the only big new hotel. Everything else was still to come. The clubs were still very rough around the edges. Very rough. So, after seeing a possible stabbing death at the second club we went to, we decided to head back to the hotel and one of their suites. I don't remember anyone calling anyone but all of a sudden the place was absolutely packed. Packed like it took you five full minutes to make your way across the room from one side to the other.

There was one clear area though and it was this big glass table. It was probably seven feet long and three feet wide. Sitting around the table were people basically two deep. The top of the table was covered in coke. I had seen people do coke before and thought I had seen a lot on a table before, but this was the most ever. None of the guys from The Time were touching it. I do remember that. BUT, I do remember that there were two people from this brand new television show called Beverly Hills 90210 who were sucking coke down like someone was trying to steal it from them. Most people were being very patient and chatting in between lines. Not these two. One female and one male were all over it. They were outdone in their zest for the drug only by this actress from Saved By The Bell. I honestly thought they were going to fight for it. Later, after the crowd had thinned I saw the male from 90210 and the actress from Saved By The Bell getting it on in a corner. She was pretty hot, I have to tell you. The guy I remember was very sweaty. The actress from 90210 never left the coke. Ever. Not until it was all gone. Then she got up, and left. Didn't say goodbye or anything. Just walked out and left. Hell of a night.

I'm deep in the weeds writing a report. I also came down with a case of the Hives...they actually started over a week ago when I was in DC/MD but have continued to plague me. For most of that time they were popping up at night and staying pretty calm during the day, but right now they're driving me bonkers. I actually woke up at 4:30 am this morning scratching like a mf and couldn't go back to sleep. I'll take some pictures before I go get a cortisone shot to take care of them. Lots of red, super itchy bumps on my hands, arms, legs, head, stomach...

In the meantime you should check out Art Garunkel's website - he's listed every book he has read over the last 29 years, organized by month read & listing the author, date published, and number of pages. I'm not done going through them all (1000+) but it seems like he's really neglected to keep abreast of the worldwide UFO cover-up.

BEST BUY HELPS US THROUGH A DIFFICULT TIME

Links for music downloads

Blues bootlegs
Rock bootlegs
Country bootlegs
Random stuff but check out their link section
80's music + good link section

DATELINE: Pajama City, USA

I'm at home working on a report. It's going a little better than the last several have but I'm not out of the woods yet. Nothing too exciting is going on. Watched Soylent Green last night - I'm a big fan of Charlton Heston apocalypse movies. I'm not going to give away the surprise ending but Soylent Green aint tofu.

My last project was outside of DC & was uneventful EXCEPT that Adale came down & we got to hang out with Bern & Kristin. We went to a fancy shmancy Mediterranean restaurant and had one of the best meals I've had in a long time and then went to out to a tasty brunch the next day.

The Hampton Inn was subpar - the room was small, no microwave, I had to request a fridge, and I didn't even get the bottled water/snack chips due to me in honor of my Diamond Status with Hilton Honors. And to add injury to insult the afternoon cookies were oatmeal raisin/cranberry for an entire week, and then they switched to peanut butter!!! Every other Hampton switches cookies daily AND there's a preponderance of chocolate chip in the mix.

Let me introduce myself. I am your consultant and I am ready to rock your world. I can be charming or I can bring the pain - whatever it takes to help you achieve your goals. Is this candy dish for everybody? Great! Yes, I'm staying at the Hampton Inn by the interstate, and yes, it is lovely. We should meet at the breakfast buffet someday to talk about strategic initiatives and donor-centered fundraising. Let's make it Thursday because that's when they serve the breakfast pizzas...you'll love them. Now let's get down to business - where's the first elderly lady you want me to shmooze?

I think I read an article where Gloria Steinem unpacked the dream of a certain segment of men to rescue Marilyn monroe, to save her from her demons. I always imagined that a similar desire was stimulated by the suicide of Kurt Cobain & I think I can feel it in regards to Britney, with the exception that I really believe I could turn her life around:

When Britney and Adnan stumbled out, Britney mumbled something unintelligible. "I couldn't understand a word she was saying. She was slurring and spitting, and talking with a British accent," says the employee. "Her face was covered with cold sores and acne, and her scalp was patchy. I wanted to help her, but she was so mean that I left her alone.

"Then she muttered, 'F--- you!' and left the store."

Evolution is an amazing and wondrous process and I am comforted that this recent discovery will help us understand the disparate mating rituals developing in male homo sapiens at universities across the world.

Well, I am the worst blogger in the world. I decided to stop writing for a few days in December when I got really busy, then I got busier, then I went to Florida for Xmas, then I went to Dallas for a staff conference, and now in Germantown, MD about 1/2 hour north of DC.

I'm going to ease back into writing & it might take a week or so to get back into the swing of things. In the meantime, can you believe how much Beyonce looks like Zombie Beyonce here?

The difference is that mine go up to 11

We knew it was going to happen but it was shocking none the less. Through the magic of hormones our little Mr. Peaches is becoming a young man. It happened pretty quickly, where Adale saw him try to hump Mimi one day and then all of sudden the next he's an absolute terror. I haven't seen any of the humping incidents but I guess because he's so much smaller than Mimi he can't really get down to business & instead just climbs on her back. Anyway, he's been terrorizing both Mimi and Droolsy, chasing them around the apartment, pushing them away from the food bowl, bullying them, and generally letting them know that he's Tha Boss.

All good things must come to an end and we've made an appointment for Mr. Peaches to take care of his "problem". I know that it has to happen but I don't like to think about my little buddy going under the knife, let alone lose his huevos. So, to commemorate his final week I've installed a count-down clock to his surgery at Business n'at. I know we'll all be thinking about Mr. Peaches and I hope you all join me in wishing him a happy final week with his testicles .

I finally ended a horrible week writing a report and regular Business n'at reporting will resume tomorrow. In the meantime enjoy the trailer for what promises to be the greatest motion picture ever created by a human being, Machine Girl.

He's got a point, but what I really wanna know is what will Nietzsche do about all the Mexican invasion. I swear to god they are EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm So Proud

that SUNY Binghamton has been named one of the ugliest campuses in the US. It was named #8 and included with other SUNY campuses, but I think on it's own it could have broken the Top 3.

I'm also proud that the road from Ica to Ayacucho - the one I traveled via bus from Lima to Ayacucho where my archaeological projects were - has been named one of the most dangerous roads in all of Peru. While waiting at the bus station in Ayacucho for the night bus back to Lima I was talking to someone about how I would not want to drive through the mountains at night. The dude said, in all seriousness, "Don't worry, there are always two drivers who take turns and they smoke weed to keep themselves awake."

Chicago Recap: Tha Hotness

Though my time in Chi-Town was uneventful (no all night carousing with R&B bands, no Creationism museums) two very important events occurred. So important, in fact, that they rise to the level of "Tha Hotness"

• Tha Hotness #1: Volvo S60. I roll into the National Rental Car lot & what do I see in the Emerald Club Executive Row but a Volvo S60! Leather seats, sun roof, power everything, smooth ride with serious power and safety. I felt like a VIP! Later in the week at a mini-mart I told the check-out girl that, along with my jalapeño & cheese sausage dog, I pointed to the Volvo and said I also wanted to pay for my gas she said, "I heard you don't drive a Volvo, that a Volvo becomes part of you" and all I could say was "If you only knew."
  

• Tha Hotness #2: I interviewed a guy who owns a big farm where they, among other things, freeze dry the fruit that is appearing in so many different cereals nowadays. As I left our meeting he handed me 5 or 6 quart sized bags of freeze dried fruit including strawberries, apples, and raspberries. I am now experimenting with my own favorite cereals and creating exciting fruit laden hybrids.
  

FLASHBACK: Chicago suburbs

Most of the time I was driving around boring suburbs but every once in a while I came across something interesting.

Adale's dad really wants one of these flying santa & reindeer blowmold lawn ornament sets.

The King of Shawerma did prepare a mean shawerma.


Definitely the fanciest lawn motor store sign I've come across.

DATELINE: Pittsburgh, PA

The Man had a very busy last week and was unable to relay the excitement of his travels around the greater Chicagoland suburbs. Here are some key stats from the project:

• I drove 430 miles the first week and 487 the second.
• I ate 5 Quiznos sandwiches, 3 hot dogs/sausages, 2 pizzas, 7 bags of Baked Lays chips, and 14 twenty-five cent boxes of Lemonheads during my two weeks in Chicago.
• 1 interviewee tried to set me up with a friend/relative.

More details to come.

Business n'at Book Club, holiday edition