hey all - I'm about to go off to work but wanted to touch base. We got about 1/2 inches of snow last night & it seems like I can't be in denial about winter coming. We're going bowling tonight. Getting ready for thanksgiving. Trying to avoid cyber-attacks. talk to you later.

Mood: grumpy

I found put yesterday that we don't do a Secret Santa in the office. What kind of godless people am I surrounded with? They all seemed so nice...this reminds me of a tv preacher I watched once who was asking the viewers what kind of popular music was the most dangerously Satanic. No, not Slayer or King Diamond, but Whitney Houston. Know why? King Diamond and the like, he argued, are too obvious for Christians to get sucked in to. But Whitney Houston's sweet voice singing the anti-Christian anthem, the Greatest Love of All, is beloved by all Americans. Listen to the lyrics -

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

The greatest love of all is inside me? It's learning to love myself? That's not what Jesus says. That's new age satanic mind-control programming.

We've been obsessed with Desperate Housewives the last few weeks. It's a pretty awesome show. Not Buffy, 6 Feet Under, or Trailer Park Boys awesome, but it's a lot of fun. I highly recommend it.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I've had several seasons of The Wire on our list for months because I've read so many people say how great it is, but I would really would rather watch Desperate Housewives or old horror movies. What's on your queue that, if your honest with yourself, you'll never watch unless you accidentally let it slip to the top?

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Awesome picture of Sarah Palin in College, c. 1982

Brownie Bites = +5 Social Capital Points

One of the key lessons I have learned about success in an office environment thus far is the critical importance of building and maintaining social capital throughout the workday and workweek. The following are just a few of the time-tested methods for creating social capital in this particular environment:

1. chatting for several minutes at the beginning of the workday (bonus points for being the first to bring up a notable television event, such as what happened on the previous night's Very Special Episode of E.R.)
   
2. forwarding funny emails
3. being the first to mention the latest viral video
4. suggesting plans for after work social gathering (the act of suggesting such an event is almost as valuable as the event actually taking place)
5. sharing valuable office supplies (printer paper, sticky pads, etc)

And of course, bringing snacks for the office. This week the opportunity to use snacks to raise my profile in the office.

A brownie gift basket company called my cubicle looking for the former resident to ask about his standing Christmas order. When I explained that I was a new occupant of the cubicle, the sales consultant offered to send out a sample pack of brownies. Talk about a manna from the heavens - I love free things and I am obsessed with maximizing my standing in the office hierarchy. The brownies arrived a few days later. After lunch, I cut them into bite-sized pieces and took around a plate to fellow co-workers. You wouldn't believe how excited people were. "You're so nice Greg"..."What a great treat!!"..."You are now at the top of the list for the next promotion" (that was implied through a supervisor's joyful expression with a mouthful of cappuccino brownie). And that, my friends, is just the beginning.

Africa? hahahahahahahahahah..............

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

not my joke, but funny

It's September 12, 2001. You're sitting in front of a TV, watching footage of the World Trade Center collapse over and over and over again.

All of a sudden, someone from seven years in the future walks out of a tiny temporal vortex, and tells you: George W. Bush is going to fuck this up so badly that in 2008, the United States of America will likely elect as president a black man whose middle name is Hussein and whose father was Muslim. Oh, and he also admits he's used cocaine.

I think it would have been easier to convince me of the reality of time travel. "No, no, I believe you really are from the future. But the other stuff, that's CRAZY."

Think you were obsessed with the campaign? Try this quiz & let me know what y'all got. I thought it was pretty tough - I got 22 out of 30.

Times are tough - vote for change!

Rocktoberfest 2008!

I've neglected to tell you, my loyal readers, that we've been very Fall (as in the season) focused. Check out this list.

1. walked through park to see leaves changing
2. drank homemade cider at someone's party
3. made offerings to the harvest gods
4. cooked several squash-centered meals
5. made caramel apples
   

We also went almost-all-out for Halloween.

1. carved jack-o-lanterns
   
2. baked pumpkin seeds & ate them
3. dressed up for the trick-or-treaters
4. decorated the yard for same trick-or-treaters (including a realistically molded plastic human skull, robber spiders & snakes, fake tombstones & real candles, giant fake spider, black light on porch, spooky noises/music cd playing
5. scared the shit out of a number of trick-or-treaters (including making at least 2 cry)
6. attended a Halloween party dressed in costume
7. walked to said party in costume & in character (zombies, 'natch)