FLASHBACK: Pittsburgh, PA

I think I neglected to relate our fun time at the Bike Bike conference party last month. There was a recycled bike conference in town and Saturday night of the weekend they had a spandex themed dance party. My parents were in town that day and we all went to dinner, and afterwards we dropped them off at their B & B Adale and I rolled out to the party.

The recycled bike kids are all "grassroots" (= dirty). The dance party was held at a place called Construction Junction, which is a big warehouse where they sell architectural salvage (all sorts of stuff cheap, not like the fancy salvage place in Ithaca).

The theme of the party was Spandex. Adale & I rolled up in our B-Cas (that's business casual to you laymen). I expected the spandex theme to be expressed in biker spandex. Boy I was wrong.



* note The Man lurking in the background, trying to start a conversation about the mortgage industry crisis.

The gal on our left in the background is Etta Cetera, a friend, activist, puppeteer, artist, and CEO of Iron City Sweeper (a housecleaning service).






The most awesome part of the night happened out of the blue like Moses parting the Red Sea. Everyone was crammed up together dancing to the dj and, all of a sudden, the crowd opened up & a group of spandex clad angels appeared. As a circle formed around them, music began and they started breaking it down - it was the Jazzercize - Troop Radical Pittsburgh!

Not that The Sun is the most reputable UK tabloid, but they have some juicy Britney dirt:

An MTV source told The Sun: “The scene in the dressing room before the show was one of absolute blind panic.

“She knew she hadn’t rehearsed enough and was going to mess up the whole show and possibly her career — then she saw her hairdo and it was the final straw.

“She went into a wild rage and started lashing out at everyone — including her stylist.”

Desperate lackeys at the glitzy Las Vegas Palms Casino resort fetched her doctor, who gave Brit the prescription drugs.

The source said: “Britney took enough to floor an elephant. They calmed her down — but were clearly too effective.”

Updated! Britney Spears VMA Truth

One of my sources within the intelligence community (a senior image surveillance analyst) has put together compelling evidence that Britney DID break one of her heels during her 2007 VMA performance. The best data begins to come in around 1:58. It's almost as good as the Zapruder Film.

Meanest and Funniest Prank Ever

JUSTIFY MY BIG, PENETRATING LOVE

MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

I know everybody is talking about Brittany, so y'all don't need to hear any more about her performance. (Honestly, I feel bad for her...I really wanted her to rock it. I can't believe her managers would let her go out on stage unprepared like that.)

I don't know if any of you caught it, but the thing that jumped out at me was how fucking HUGE Dr. Dre was!!! He's always been pudgy but showed up last night like the Incredible Hulk!!! I read on a bodybuilding.com forum that LL CoolJ has been training him & that makes sense...CoolJ or someone hooked him up with some hardcore juice.



Promo still from The Wash (2001)


Interview, 2005


2007 VMA

FLASHBACK: Rapid City, SD

Driving out to Mt. Rushmore I stopped at the lovely and majestic Presidents Park, a series of three giant busts of Reagan, Kennedy, and W in a vacant lot next to a gas station. It totally worked as a roadside attraction because I had my choice of 3 or 4 mini-marts and made my choice based on the presence of the statues. Take note that Bush's tie has little elephants on it...I think he does wear Republican stuff like that all the time. I've also noticed that when he's in casual wear he sports federal gov't gear - FBI windbreakers, NAVY pullovers, etc. - that looks like he got it for free with a subscription to ESPN the magazine

UPDATE: After using the Googles I found out that the three statues I saw are an advertisement for President's Park, named by USA Today as one of the Top 10 Places to See in the USA and one of Life Magazone's 21 Hidden Treasures of the USA.

DATELINE: Pittsburgh, PA

I'm laying around on the couch, suffering from a head cold. DayQuil did a fair job over the last two days but not this morning. I'm going to go to the doctor tomorrow because I've developed a cough.

For Joe.

DATELINE: Ithaca, NY

One of the most exciting things about our stay in Ithaca was that the house we rented had the oldest toilet in Tompkins County, NY. It was originally in the Clinton House across from the Commons. It's from sometime in the 19th century. And Adale & I blew it up with authority.


DATELINE: Ithaca, NY

DATELINE: Hub's Place, Ithaca, NY

Of course no trip to Ithaca is complete without a visit to Hub's Place. Hub said someone is building 200+ fancy condos behind his place and he's worried that they'll complain about his garden of rusty junk. We found some goodies - glass casters, vintage crystal wall lamp, rusty metal rake, and a series of professional comedian joke books from 1949.

BREAKING NEWS: If you're near a TV turn it to IFC right now because R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet Chapters 13 - 22 is on right now!!!!!

HOW TO TELL YOU ARE IN SOMEONE'S HOUSE IN ITHACA, NY

Let's say you're walking down the street, get hit on the head with a blackjack & the next thing you know you're in the trunk of a car going down the highway. Hours, maybe days later the car stops and you're dragged out of the trunk into a building. The blindfold over your eyes is finally removed and after your eyes adjust to the light & the chloroform fog wears off you realize that you're tied to a chair in someone's apartment. You've got to look for clues to figure out what's happening & where you are...the car ride was a haze & you have no idea how long you were in there so you really could be anywhere in the US.

Well, I've come up with a guide that will help you if you're kidnapped & taken to Ithaca, NY. The photos below provide key visual clues that, if you're observant enough to recognize, will let you know that you've been taken to Ithaca, probably to be enslaved by the hippy cult running the Mate Factor, destined to weave friendship bracelets & handcraft mate mugs in their dungeon for the rest of your days.


When your captors give you your daily sip of water laced with sodium pentathol & rohypnol, be sure to run your lips over the rim of the cup. Is it a beautiful, hand thrown earthenware coffee mug? If not blindfolded, look around - do you see any evidence of hand made pottery?

You must be ever vigilant and take note of every little thing going on, no matter how insignificant it seems at the time. For example, does it seem like your captors schedule out daily "fun family" activities? Do these activities include an inordinate amount of "nature walks" and similar outdoor activities? Is TV time scheduled, and then reserved for educational videos for which the children have no say?


Ferns? check. Tapestry? check. CD case full of Sim Redmond and Dave Matthews? check. Kids art hanging from light and on desk? check. Stained glass? check.

If you are not blindfolded look around to catch a glimpse of the condiments used by your captors. The jars may have a familiar shape but the labels reveal their sinister contents.

Even the smallest piece of Grateful Dead memorabilia is strong evidence that your captors did not stop in Danby and took you straight to Ithaca.

Look at this picture & think about what you're looking at. Imagine you are tied up in this room. What do you hear? The most important piece of evidence here is the TV - it's covered up with an attractive cloth hand woven by Latin American artisans. Hippies use magic textiles to block radiation from their tv sets.


Double-check the gruel your captors serve you. Tofu? TVP? Tahini? Is your cookie sweetened with honey? Even though hippies traffic in White Slavery they are concerned about the effects of factory farming on our diets as well as the environment.

FLASHBACK: Badlands, SD

I don't know why I never posted these before because they're pretty good. As y'all may or may not remember, while in Rapid City, SD I spent a day driving through the Badlands and visiting Wall Drug. At the end of the loop, just a few miles before hitting the interstate to get back to my hotel, I spotted this sign and realized that I had to stop. Free Prairie Dogs watching? Hell yeah!!

This gift shop was really in the middle of nowhere. I was super excited to find that in addition to a free prairie dog viewing area the gift shop had a 20 foot cement prairie dog statue in the parking lot.


This is the other side of the gift shop.



The statue is heroic and noble, yet at the same time I sense tragedy.

The shop owners had an approximately 40 ft. x 40 ft. fenced in area where most of the prairie dogs congregated, although because they dig tunnels and are wild animals the fence didn't keep them in. I think so many hung out there because the fence gave them a nice, defined living area, kind of like screens in a loft.


They are pretty damn cute. I bet they would make good pets if you could catch a baby & raise it.

The lonely prairie dog gazing across the plains. What is he waiting for? what does he see?

hey y'all, I'm in the Dallas Airport (DFW for all you business travellers). There have been a lot of things up in the air for me but now I can reveal:
1) After a tough meeting at company HQ I am officially NOT fired.
2) TGI Friday's bacon cheeseburgers are pretty darn tasty.
3) Shiner Bock tastes pretty darn good in the TGIF big glasses.
4) There's a guy working at the DFW TGIF who knows all the cities/towns/communities located around the top 60 metro areas in the USA. He also has visited 35 of the 50 states and has the goal of visiting every one.
6) I did not have the heart to question whether driving through a state for 1.5 hours on the interstate counts as having "visited" said state. Personally, I don't think so.

I heart the Hipster Olympics!

DATELINE: Erie, PA has the greatest store ever!